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When you are hovering your ass over the toilet and the shit hits the lid of the toilet before sliding into it
Person 1: Hey man I was taking a crap at the office today and I made a Humpty Dumpty
Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?
Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit
When you dry hump someone and then take a dump on their face
John : "Ah yes, Susan loves the Humpty-Dumpty"
A physical act where upon the chef places an egg inside their rectum and cracks it with the sphincter allowing only egg white to drip upon the desired surface.
I dropped a Humpty dumpster on her chest.
In interface development, the act of taking a shitty, broken, shattered visual design, data model, or prototype and putting it back together to form some sort of pristine fuckin' egg to serve up to the user.
"Let me get this straight. You want me to humpty-fuck that shit into something usable?"
The act of performing a number two; a dump; relieving one's bowels
I will be back, I must go perform a humpty dumptus
This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?
The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.
Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.
The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.
Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.