weed maps

noun: an online guide to finding the best medical marijuana dispensaries in southern california.

I always check weed maps for the latest and best deals before I head out to the clinic.

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apple maps

apple maps:The poorest cobbled and invalid representation of our planet since the Dark Ages.

Apple, in it's height ignorance and blind belief that their drones (customers) would never notice the switch from Google, a product of a misfired neuron in the peabrains of software "developers".

Well now I am lost, time to open Google Maps... What? Where did Google go? The fuck is just "Maps". So now Apple Maps is the only thing on my phone now. Well, gotta find my place.
Fuck, where the hell is my house? There's just a garble of satellite artifacting and missing photos.

(Siri voice) LEFT TURN

FUCK

( screams)

OH MY GOD

(Crash)
Beep. Beep. Beep.

You have reached your destination...
HELL

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tab-mapping

The exercise of referencing last night's receipts in an effort to remember what in the hell happened. In some cases, one may have to call from home to close the tab after leaving the bar without taking their card.

Brian: What happened last night?

Lisa: I'll have to do some tab-mapping. FML.

The map is not the territory

The words we use to describe something are not the thing we are describing. The map is not the territory. The menu is not the meal. Know the difference.

Religion is not God. The map is not the territory.

mole map

When you play connect the dots with your partners moles with your semen

Tom: Last night, I played connect the dots on my bitch's back with my jizz.

Richard: Oh so you made the mole map?

mapped

v. the act or process of 'mapping' something. Generally slang for doing something quickly/haphazardly/mindlessly

Friend: "Jeez dude, you mapped that pizza"
You: "Yeah,I mapped the shit outta that shit."

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Map of Hawaii

A pattern of semen deposited on the body (especially a featureless, fairly flat part of the body, like the back or stomach) of a sex partner. Named because the drops of semen appear in a chain like the Hawaiian islands.

After I got done plowing your mother in the ass, I was ready to cum, so I pulled my dick out and gave her a map of Hawaii on her back.

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