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microsoft moment

Sudden freeze of all mental functions due to a simultaneous massive overload of sensory inputs (hotties, chocolate, sunsets, doofiswads) and internal stimulation (lust, chocorgasm, rage).

Synonyms are senior moment, brain cramp, brain freeze, brain fart

Guy 1: Dude, she was totally waving you in and you just stood there like a super doofiswad, wtf?

Guy 2: I know, dude. I was having a total microsoft moment.

Chick 1: Omigod, he gave you a can of salted nuts for Christmas? Wtf? I hope you kicked him in the nads.

Chick 2: Couldn't. Got lost in a microsoft moment. Probably gonna just punch in his face tomorrow, though.

Chick 1: Awesomeness.

by Andy is Sassy January 4, 2008

23πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Microsoft Minute

A unit of measure where the descriptive term is never the same value and always unknown.

Defined by:
1 = x:y:z
Where x = any number of minutes, y = any number of seconds, z = and number of milliseconds

A: Dude, this Olsen video I'm downloading is gonna be sweet!
B: Awesome man, how long has it got?
A: Ahhh it says 3 minutes to go...
B: Oh man, they're Microsoft Minutes; you'll be there for another hour at least!

by Quilly123 May 12, 2006

163πŸ‘ 49πŸ‘Ž


Microsoft Zealot

A person who has a life beyond computers and is not confined by a religious addiction to unusable hippie freeware with little functional use or an overpriced trendy combination of hardware that was top of the line two years ago. The typical Microsoft zealot sees the computer as a means to an end, a business tool and home appliance, and not a white false idol perched in a prominent part of your β€œliving” room that you pray impresses women. It generally won’t. The typical Microsoft zealot has tried this approach and failed miserably and has moved on to conventions on Microsoft technology where they hope to score with a barista working in the lobby. She is the only woman in the room, or at least the only obvious person of the female gender. Microsoft zealots tend to understand what TCO, ROI, economy of scale, and integration mean unlike their fanatical counterparts on the other side of the virtual fence. Microsoft zealots drive nice cars but have never been laid in them, nor is it likely. They are, however, eternally hopeful.

β€œHey, I’m kind of a Microsoft zealot, do you want to ditch this Powerpoint presentation and head to the lingerie convention a block down at Harrah’s? I have the route mapped out on my iPhone.”

by pierre_abelard October 3, 2009

106πŸ‘ 31πŸ‘Ž


Microsoft Network

MSN stands for Microsoft Network. This was a network that branched out into many different online apllications such as chatrooms, messenging services, ISP, and email (hotmail).

MSN was also an easy network to destroy with malicious hacking attacks because of the vunerabilities within the chatrooms, messenging service, ISP, and email.

Simply put, back in teh dae i used wkps.exe "microsoft word processor (windows me)" and changed the font to symbol, thus then typing up curse words or screennames other people had or i wanted, and then copied and pasted to the website/chatroom to register a nick or bypass the chatroom bots by then displaying a curseword upon the chatscreen making everyone think i'm leet.

by Kamisama May 2, 2005

17πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


microsoft sam

The sweet ass dude that you can tell to say funny ass words and he says them in a really funny voice. You really need to try this. Its some funny shit.
-How To Get Microsoft Sam-
1.Click on Start
2.Click on Control Panel
3.Click on Speech
4.Type some funny shit and let him say it.

*/-THINGS FOR MICROSOFT SAM TO SAY THAT ARE FUNNY AS SHIT-/*
just copy and paste

1. I am Sam, Hear Me Roar, Bitch!
2. gdfgdhgidfghdfgiudfndfgopdfgdfnguidfuigigudfuigndfugnsdfgnpdggnuidfgdfngudfpggnuigpgnuidngdfnguidfnguidfgndgndfuigngh
3. Nigger

by Mic August 6, 2004

529πŸ‘ 193πŸ‘Ž


Microsoft second

Usually equal to 3-4 seconds when the computer is new.. After one month of use though, this turns into 10-15... and After a year you might as well go to bed if it tells you it has one second left.

"One second left on download" ..... 20 minutes later......
"One second left on download" ..... 1 microsoft second later.... you wake up from your 3 hour nap

by Apple FTW February 21, 2012


Microsoft Minute

A seemingly random period of time required for a (Microsoft) computer system to recognize changes made and begin working properly. This phrase is most commonly associated with Active Directory (Windows Server) applications.

"I just changed your password on the server, so in 15 Microsoft minutes you should be able to log on. If it still doesn't work after 15 minutes wait another hour and it should work then."

by Carl Boyd October 8, 2004

161πŸ‘ 53πŸ‘Ž