Random
Source Code
Random
The Way Things Are Done:
Start with 5 monkeys locked in a cage.
Hang a banana from the roof on a string and place a set of stairs under it.
Before long the monkeys will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana.
As soon as the first monkey touches the stairs, hose the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. All the other are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and goes to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done around here. And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
Example of "five monkeys" in action:
Why? / Why not?
-because that's the way things are done around here.
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Hitting a bees nest with an open fist.
Dave went to hive five the neighbors hornets nest.....didn't work out so well. He dead.
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noun. A high five using Star Trek "Vulcan Salute" between two awesome people.
Person 1: Wow did you see those two, they just spock fived
Person 2: Gosh they are cool i wish i could be them!
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The act of slapping two hands in the shape of bear claws together while emitting a "bear-like" sound. ie., "huhhhhhh", "ruahhhh", "growwwwl".
1) Joe: "Hey Ted, great game! Bear five up Top. Raowwwww"
2) Bill: "Hey dude, high five!"
Dude: "Screw that! It's bear five time."
Both: "Huahhhrowrr"
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Velocity, Viscosity, Volume, View, and Violence. The five categories you can rate your pooping expierence on, each on a scale of 1-10:
Velocity: How fast was your poop? Was it super slow and hard to push out? Like you're constipated (1)? Or was it like a shotgun: one second it's in, then bang, it's out, and you go flying off the toilet (10).
Viscosity: What was the thickness like? Was it runny diarrhea (1)? Or was it a rock (10)?
Volume: How large was your poop? Was it a tiny little rabbit turd (1)? Or were you like "HOLY SHIT HOW DID THAT JUST FIT OUT OF MY ASS HOLE?!" (10)?
View: How was the view and surroundings while you were taking your poop? Were you in a stinky stall in a public restroom with a bunch of bugs (1)? Or were you in a nice, private bathroom with a pleasant scent and a magazine (10)?
Violence: You can interpret this one however you like.
The five v's are a happy, healthy way to reflect on your pooping expierence!
Television channels available over an antenna. Traditionally in the USA these are NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, and PBS, which were the only TV channels available out in the country prior to DirecTV.
- Did you see what happened on Breaking Bad?
- No, sorry, I only get the Farmer Five.
When you are engaging in intercourse in front of a window and your friend is in a window adjacent from yours, and you both simultaneously "high five" your windows as if high fiving each other in person.
Dude I was doin Betty in the butt last night and Window Fived Mike across the way.