the somebodies of yesterday are the nobodies of today

most celebrity athletes, entertainers, personalities, politicians who achieved the bulk of their success the other side of the millennium (i.e., the 20th Century).

Think about it. How many late 20th Century celebrities are still in the public eye today ? Not many, right ? The somebodies of yesterday are the nobodies of today ...

108👍 11👎

How Are You Doing Today?

I'm doing good, thank you for asking. How are you doing today?

I just asked you, "How Are You Doing Today?".

I grew a cabbage today

The most random thing you can ever say to someone to start a conversation. There is only one correct answer to this statement.

Bob: I grew a cabbage today!

Tim: I love you.

33👍 5👎

whats the weather like today

When you are a stupid pleb who uses the wrong application to check weather

You “ Hey Siri , whats the weather like today.”
Siri “ Look outside you fucking pleb”

I'm staying home today

Phrase used by people who do not desire to hang out for the day. Often used to avoid offending someone when they already have plans, do not want to hang out with the asker, or really just want to stay home. Often followed by three periods (..) to show false/real remorse.

Friend 1: Hey, wanna go see Yogi Bear?

Friend 2 (to himself): That idea sounds hella stupid
Frined 2: No thanks, I'm staying home today...

19👍 6👎

Suck Todays Dick

To take a massive rip out the bong (LUX Scientific or whatever you have) for the first time each day. Every day

yo, what time is it?

TIME TO SUCK TODAYS DICK!!!!!

9👍 57👎

Kiss your bf today

National have you boyfriend kiss you day!! Hahaha!

Hey Lincoln kiss me on Monday kiss your bf today
You have to kiss your bf today

6👍 1👎