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A nice guy is the no-in between guy. He is either bald or so exceptionally hairy that he creates shade like a willow tree. He may be shaped like Baby Hughey or thinner than a crack whore (although he will neither use crack or be a whore since he's a nice guy.) In fact they are often virgins (naturally or born again) and volunteer time and funds to drug rehabiliation and other noteworthy programs. The nice guy may have impaired vision and wear thick glasses that create the highly undesirable affects of a funhouse mirror.Other nice guys may have excellent vision in their eyes that bulge, wander or cry frequently. The NICE GUY makes an excellent friend as he picks up tabs, earns trust, runs errands, rarely complains, watches chick flicks, rubs your feet, accepts collect calls, posts bail, and holds a steady job. He is however, unworthy of being kissed or touched in a romantic way - because you can treat the Nice guy anyway you wish and he will accept you with open arms. There is no need to praise, or show positive emotion or affection toward the nice guy... he's loyal as a pooch.
Nice Guy: "We've been friends for a long time now - and I feel really close to you..."
Woman: (immediately interrupts to break his heart) "You're a NICE GUY... but I don't want to ruin our friendship"
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Nice guys are covert bastards who are just waiting for opportunities to destroy women. Their feigned niceness is just that - feigned. This does not apply to homosexual nice guys who are, in reality, nice. The source of this discrepancy is not known.
For women, nice guys are best handled by using what little they have to offer, and then having nothing more to do with them. Their wisdom, principles and sober thinking are valuable at certain times, and their feigned niceness makes them easy to talk to. However, women are advised not to offer anything more than friendship to them.
Apart from these aspects, nice guys offer precious little to society. In fact, they are causing the deterioration of Western society with their faggy books, computers and telescopes. Haha, telescopes. They possess inferior genes in comparison to Real Men (TM). Nice guys are inherently unable to provide a woman with a good hard fucking, because just look at them. They're too nice.
Things nice guys may (or may not) say:
1. Haha, just LOOK at that skinny guy. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? YOU WANT YOUR ASS KICKED?!
2. Get me another beer, love.
3. Girl, Imma treat you so right, you know ah alwez doo. Jyea.
4. Show us your tits! Ack-hurhurhurhur.
5. Is that your car? Ack-hurhurhurhur.
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A man who doesn't know how to be a man, can be beta - or omega -
Weak willed, quiet and "nurturing" (like a mother)
Devotes too much time to be a "nice guy", wastes time on the web laughing at memes and sobbing because women go for assholes (assertive males who partake in group activities and have friends as well as knowing what they want), probably out of shape and have no desireable qualities that a woman would look for in a partner.
These people are usually spoil girls by buying them things and listening to everything they have to say, constantly hold out in case the girl drops their standards enough to date them and will tell others how they "love" said girl.
Similar to "bubbly" girls (being fat and unlikeable is optional), nothing nice about them so you just apply a generic word because you can't say they are unlikeable.
"Gary, you are such a nice guy, I wish I could find someone like you (who isn't a spineless little bitch)"
"Date me then, Fiona, I love you and I spend all night looking at rage comics relevant to our situation!"
"But you aren't the one for me"
"What is wrong with me??"
"I'm just not ready for a relationship, sorry"
Fiona then starts dating the assertive guy who has a personality as well as a pair of ears and a wallet, they laugh together about Gary behind his back and the new bf will usually joke to her and his friends about how he is "scared of losing her to Gary", Gary backs off when he makes a move and gets threatened because he turns rapey/stalkerish
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a guy, usually bisexual or homosexual, who will swallow semen when someone ejaculates into his mouth.
Bad guys suck. I'm a nice guy.
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The president of the Virgin Islands. Will 99.99999999999% percent of time hate chad.
Stacy: "I think Brad is a Nice guy..."
Andrea: "Then why do you avoid him?"
Stacy: "I meant THAT type of Nice guy you cheese hoe"
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1. The types of guys girls always equate into pussies (or a pussy), as they compensate for its lack of looks with dedication, knowledge and sincerity.
Girl 1: Look at that guy over there! He's cute. :)
Girl 2: Nah. He's a nice guy. And you do know what nice guys are? PUSSIES!
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