Random
Source Code
Random
A Christian college in Grand Rapids, Michigan U.S.A. Known for its Jesus freaks, hot snobby bitches, and shitty investments. Has a 99% acceptance rate because they don't hesitate to financially rape someones' pockets for $35K a year. Doesn't have any real sports. 100% dry campus. If you fuck someone in the dorms, they will kick you out. About 90% of the student body is composed of social retards who go there because they grew up in sheltered, Jesus loving, god fearing communities and are attempting to add four more years to avoiding the real world. Most students graduate in over four years due to the schools' curriculum of required theology and other bullshit classes that real schools don't teach. The student body is about as ethnically diverse as Toronto, Ontario (roughly 70% white, 30% asian, and about six blacks). The asians generally stay with one another and avoid white people like they're going to put them in concentration camps. Most of the guys are skinny dickless choches. The very small number of athletically toned guys have no problem tearing through the poon like it's spring break. The girls are stuck up twats who use their religion as an excuse as to why they claim to be virgins. Every girl there will put-out for a guy if his family is rich. Everyone there will piss themselves at the notion of atheists and other non-christian people. Best way to get someone to jerk off in front of you is to start talking about Jesus.
Normal college student: "So what did you do this weekend?"
Calvin college student: "I went to chapel and praised Jesus by the seminary pond. How about you?"
Normal college student: "I went to a party and got shitfaced then proceeded to show my genitalia to everyone and ended up waking up in a bed with two women and a pool of vomit next to me. It was about the usual."
Calvin college student: "You're going to hell."
Random Christian: "Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?"
Calvin student: unzips pants
"I'm so sexually frustrated, I'm about to stick my dick in a light socket."
"My type of guy is one whose parents left him a six-figure trust fund."
923👍 177👎
Yo, Sarah! That's not just ketamine, its coke too... Damn Sarah, you're Calvin Kleining!
1👍 1👎
I got my own slab with Calvin Johnsons on it. If you don't know the lingo, them 21's homie.
34👍 5👎
The 30th President of the United States of America, and quite possibly one of the greatest executives this Republic has ever had in modern times.
Calvin Coolidge remains the last truly conservative president who governed as small government, limited spending, and liberty-minded executive.
Regarded as a somewhat taciturn man in private, and generally very temperate. His presidency saw the nation through the "Roaring Twenties", and is very noted for his laissez-faire (literally "hands-off") economic policy.
He stands in contrast to his successor, Herbert Hoover, whose excessive economic interventionism (much like those of Presidents G.W. Bush and B.H. Obama in the early 21st century) brought about substantial economic ruin.
Calvin Coolidge would be considered a paleoconservative by today's understanding of politics.
154👍 38👎
Calvin Harris is writing a diss track about Taylor Swift because she was snogging Loki after their break up. He is also wearing Yeezys and putting Kanye on the diss track as a fuck you to Taylor.
44👍 9👎
The man with the greatest plan
“Wait, it’s all Charles Calvin?”
“Always has been.”
13👍 1👎
A standing workplace rule that states: Upon completion of your third bowel movement on the same work day, you are immediately excused from work for the remainder of the day. You clearly have larger problems than work to deal with. Go home, get your shit handled and return to work in the morning.
Named after the creator of the law, Calvin Johnson.
"That's my third shit today! Calvin’s Law is now in effect. I'll see you guys in the morning... I'm going home."
13👍 1👎