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Example: "Hey man, sorry I'm late. Some total church bell on the street wouldn't stop lecturing me about Scientology. Do you know what a thetan is?"
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A totally uncool prude!
Made famous on SNL by Dana Carvey in old lady drag stating
"ISN'T THAT SPECIAL?!!!"
OMG you are acting like such a church lady!
Stop acting like a church lady...I'm gonna puke!!
OK church lady...PARDON ME!!!!!
Dude--you sound like such a a church lady!!!
A dangerous and large organization claiming to be devoted to the practice of the new age religion, Scientology. The church was founded by science fiction writer Lafayette Ronald Hubbard as a method of quickly attaining massive amounts of wealth through "self-help" book sales such as 'Dianetics', and fees for providing "auditing" courses to remove "engrams"-the thousands of restless alien spirits that cause all the strive on Earth. In reality, this auditing appears to be methods of indoctrinating sessions of hypnosis, often proclaimed brainwashing by critics(though not completely without justification as behavioral modification techniques are known to be present)
Currently the Church is headed by David Miscavige and keeps a headquarters, the Church of Scientology International, in Los Angeles, California.
It is infamous for it's controversial actions, some of which are:
•The Fair Game policy, a highly aggressive policy of the church which allows members to take whatever actions necessary to silence any and all critics(dubbed Suppressive Persons) of the church and its practices. This is commonly implemented utilizing the legal system to harass individuals into submission with barrages of frivolous lawsuits, false criminal charges, and any other means to demoralize the potential source of bad PR.
•Numerous deaths related to the Church and its practices;
Cases of suicidal depression, criminal neglect such as the case of Lisa McPherson, and countless mysterious deaths that point to the church have been recorded. A full list of Scientology related deaths can be seen at http://www.whyaretheydead.net/
•Disconnection, a type of religious shunning in which a scientologist is required to break all ties and communication with friends and family members that are possibly harmful to the PR of the church.
•The extreme opposition to psychiatry, sometimes to the point of denying members of gravely needed mental help.
So I talked to this guy that said he was member of scientology, he said that maybe my leukemia was all in my head. That Scientology could cure me of what is really just a psychosomatic disorder. How come doctors let people die when Scientology, Church of, is there to help?
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to become a nihilist/anarchist/political shit disturber.
Initially at least, to the Romans, Jesus was a Jew trying to reform The Church; it is only about the middle of the 2nd century AD, that Jesus became the the religious character he is today.
The most hypocritical of the bunch. One who goes to church on a scheduled if not daily basis, but once church is over, its back to the random voice mails and text messages, mostly booty call requests.
Its very devastating to one of religion, but it is only if the other discovers that person's promiscuous behavior.
They go to church claiming forgiveness, only to get right back in the sheets with another person different from the previous.
This applies to the clubbing type as well in some cases. they get wild thus bring home a lucky person on a Saturday night, then its several hours in church listening to the preacher Sunday morning, claiming the words of truth for themselves.
The Preacher's Daughter or the common Daughter of a church goer are one of the many examples of a Church Hoe.
"You go to church like its second nature and you laying in bed with different men. Shame on you!"
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The only true church. Everyone in the church is really good at not blinking. We worship SCP-173 and the SCP foundation is really sick of us but we don't fucking care.
InkFlame: ALL PrASE PEANUT!!!
Inky: wtf
InkFlame: YOU
Inky: yes?
InkFlame: JOIN THE CHURCH OF PEANUT
Inky: o ok
IRS-sponsored, trademarked, copyrighted pseudo-religious corporation that claims you are an immortal spiritual being with infinite capabilities as long as you can prove this to the church with your money in order to receive a church certification that claims you are a spiritual being with infinite capabilities.
Otherwise, you are either a 'downstat' (inferior) or worse: a 'suppressive person' (enemy). In this case you can be ruined, sued, tricked, lied to or destroyed utterly - per church policy.
As anyone can see from the above, the church of $cientology is really a bona fide religion.
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