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octocontrabass clarinet

Not much is known about this instrument. It is pitched 1 octave below the contrabass clarinet, two octaves below the bass clarinet, and three octaves below the Bb clarinet. Its lowest note is one octave below one of the lowest notes on the piano, and it is no longer in use as the only model for it is broken beyond repair. It is also the REAL lowest woodwind, and battles for the lowest note obtained with an instrument with the 64’ stop organ. Plays into the -1 octave range.

Holy crud! Is that a octocontrabass clarinet?

I thought it is unable to be played!

by Instrument definer June 12, 2021


Clarineting

The act of playing your clarinet, is usually implied to those who think a sheet of music has a BPM of 198, but alas has one of only 108

"Which funny story, for a long time I thought the beat was 198, but today I looked further at it, it was just a pencil mark and was actually 108" - E.W. Clarineting

by E.X.N.T. January 22, 2018


ghetto clarinet

A sex act in which a man inserts a kazoo into his rectum while his partner takes the tip of the man's penis into his or her mouth and mimes playing a clarinet. The man should do his best to fart out a tune while making sure not to shit into the kazoo.

Did you see Tara at last night's party? She played 'Oh When the Saints Go Marching In' on Billy's ghetto clarinet.

by Smelly Randolph December 9, 2015


Clarinet bimbo

One who plays a clarinet whilst acting as a bimbo, unfortunately once a clarinet bimbo always a clarinet bimbo.

Edna why are you such a clarinet bimbo

by Wut28 August 1, 2017


blown out clarinet

An STD, named after anyone that was in a marching band. Symptoms include itchiness, red spots, anal leakage, breast tissue growth and listening to Neil Diamond on repeat for days at a time. Unfortunately no treatment at this time is available except for palliative care including cool baths in oatmeal, listening to Kenny G, and always double bagging it.

Girl 1: oh shit, green eyes and blonde hair, AND he knows fingering techniques?
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.

by HM Barber February 23, 2019


clarinet

a hand looking butt plug

please hand me my clarinet my butt needs a fucking

by gaydier January 26, 2024


clarinet

the best instrument ever. plays in concert, marching, and jazz bands. mostly girls and gays but some random football players too (for some reason.) can be used as an insult or a compliment. better than saxophones.

trumpet: is that girl a clarinet?
trombone: how could you say that...?

saxophone: ew its a clarinet
clarinet: we're just better than u lmao stay mad

by paztels April 17, 2023