Batch one off

To masturbate and “batch one off” a selfless act for a friend who does not have gel for their hair prior to going out.

Oh my God we’re almost at the club and my hair is a disaster, can you please batch one off for me?

Crunching one off

A much better way of saying taking a shit or pooping

So there I was in the woods, crunching one off, when I see the biggest fucking black bear ever to exist...

Off One's Base

adj. A person that is crazy or behaving in idiotic ways

"you are so off one's base"

Hussing one off

Masturbating in a fast and noisy fashion while grunting frequently.

James: Lucas, you have been in the bathroom for 2 hours! Why are you grunting so loud?

Lucas: I'm hussing one off! AAAHHHHHH *Splooges everywhere*