Please be informed!

A short commanding expression spoken at the end of a speech that means: "Yeah, you heard what I said! That's the 411. If you didn't get it, too damn bad! I ain't gonna repeat myself and I ain't taking no questions!"

Ling Ling: "Blah blah blah blah....
blah blah blah blah....
such and such.....
so and so....
Please be informed!"

Lou Lou: "Can you repeat what you said before that such and such part?"

Ling Ling (thinking in her head): "Motherfucker, I gotta take a shit! I'm gettin' outta here. I ain't got time to answer this!"

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please fuck

literally what it says

please fuck

"please fuck me dan" phil screamed

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eager to please

Someone who wants to keep everybody happy and puts great effort in to it

Jess bought drinks for everyone tonight! I guess she's eager to please.

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bitch please

Expresses incredulous disgust, usually in reaction to a statement that is incredible, false, or otherwise outrageous. In some cases, it can also be used to repell a minor annoyance such as a ho, a cracker, or especially a tool that won't step off from all up in your grill.

When used as an adjective, bitch please describes a quality such that one knows the subject is immature, stupid, or takes its outrageousness too seriously, and yet is somehow still viscerally cool. A good example of the feeling one might get from a bitch please situation would be bitch-slapping a motherfucker again and again at a large social gathering, and then finishing the beat-down by fadonking him in front of his grandparents.

Note: because of the origin of bitch please amongst inner-city prostitution rings, it always carries a connotation of violence. If you hear bitch please, somebody is going to get owned.

Example:
A Tool: "Yo, Samuel L. Jackson, will you sign my "Snakes on a Plane" merch? You're totally sick, homedog. You wanna come chill at my crib?"
Samuel L. Jackson: "Bitch please."

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ninja please

Used to replace negro please, which in-turn replaces nigga please.

LaFonda: you trifflin' ho!
white girl: ninja, please!
LaFonda: *confused, but can't get angry because no apparent racial comment was made*

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Please Advise

An extremely stuffy phrase used by business executives to close emails when they don't understand how to ask a real question. It basically means "Please use your imagination to figure out what the fuck I need to know to make a decision on this item without making me look like an idiot in front of all the people I CCed"

"Please Advise" is typically used in place of "Thanks" in formatting an email. It is very passive aggressive. Always assume that the user of the phrase "please advise" is a college graduate that follows the advice of his professors to a T... Even 15 years later..

Dear Luke,

I recently got a call from Alex in LA telling me that we're out of blinkity blank in California so the blippity blue isn't working. What-the-fuck what-the-fuck we're losing 15k a day what-the-fuck save me please.

Please Advise,
John

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Please respond

Used by either autistic nerds, or ironically by alphamales. Autistic nerds will commonly say "please respond" as a panic response when texting a girl who doesn't respond within 3 minutes.

Guy: "Hey"
Girl: "hi"
Guy: "I always had a crush on you since middle school, i just never had the courage to tell you. Do you want to hang out? I mean, I don't mind if you say no, but if you want to we can totally hang out. :)"
Guy: "hello?"
Guy: "Please respond"

Or used Ironically

Girl: "Heyyy"
Guy: "You should be an archaeologist"
Girl: "Why?"
Guy: "Because I have a large bone to be examined"
Guy: "Please respond"
Girl: "hahaha okay ;)"

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