Real Life Witch

Important guide to recognising a real life witch. This information could save your life.

1) A REAL WITCH is certain always to be wearing gloves when you meet her.
A witches hands are very wrinkled and rough through broomstick riding and potion making. They have poor circulation due to the amount of alcohol that they consume.

2) Look for the nose-holes. Witches have larger nose-holes than ordinary people. The rim of each nose-hole is pink and curvy. They like the whiff of wine beneath their large nostrils to detract from the smell of dogs droppings.

3) The feet. Most women have naturally small feet but a Witch has men sized feet. Their feet will be hard and coarse.

4) Deflated saggy breasts. From the expression colder than a witches tit. The deflation occurs through the alcohol consumption as does the poor circulation making them very cold. A Witch will hide these through push up bras and tops that show no cleavage. A WITCH will be hard to spot.

5) Belching. A WITCH will often belch. Partially through the nervousness of getting exposed and partially due to the amount of alcohol that they consume.

6) Alcohol. Witches love Alcohol, but doesn't everyone. Yes but a Witch drinks it daily. They need the buzz to warm their cold hands and cold breasts.

This is your guide to spotting a real life witch! Stay safe out there