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A soccer mom literally means a mom that picks up her kid(s) after soccer practice. However, the term has come to mean the notion of a white married female in the age range of 30-49 with 1 or more children in an American suburb. She is typically thought to be concerned only about her own welfare and that of her children often at the peril of others. This selfish attitude is typified by their bad driving habits, and driving unnecessarily large vehicles like SUVs, which shows their carelessness about concepts like protecting the environment. The are typically but not always Republican, which is another example of their lack of care for the rest of humanity. They prefer Republican over Democratic usually because they believe the Republican party spares them from having to pitch in to help the needy in society, that the Republican party "protects" them better against terrorists and foreign threats, and that the Republican party is more "godly" and against abortion and homosexuals. The last point was actually exploited greatly by George Bush in his last two elections as his campaign appealed to Soccer Moms sense of vulnerability numerous times. Indeed, if it wasn't for the vote of Soccer Moms, Bush may never have been re-elected.
They may also be blindly right-wing Christian. They blindly believe in a religion handed to them by their parents. They have never questioned it, or deeply thought about it. They simply know they are Catholic, Protestant, or Evangelical, and so will be their kids. They are afraid of people of color, other religions, and any thing other than suburban, white, republican, heterosexual, middle or upper-class, christian, and "American" (which is a bigot's definition of American).
Soccer Moms, are usually the next phase of the life of a "gold-digger" after she lands a financially well-off male to live off of.
The millions of Soccer Moms that voted to elect Bush in 2000 and 2004 because they wanted "God" in American life and were afraid of terrorists hurting their kids.
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That bitch in her minivan or suv with the jesus fish on the back who can't drive for shit and you want to kill.
soccer moms like balls
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The type of woman you'd see driving in front of you on the freeway at her own pace, with a "my child is a honor student at (insert school name here)" bumper sticker and gives you the finger when you pass her up. The type of woman who has worked with her kind to control what kids say to the point where saying words like "crap" and phrases like "shut up" are inappropriate. The type of woman who has worked effortlessly to dumb down once great networks like Nickelodeon and Disney Channel to where a show about a spoiled bitch girl that has everything she wants is the only thing deemed worthy for her kids to watch. This type f woman who brain washes her kids, sucking their souls so they are nothing more than pop culture slaves that give untalented whores like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber undeserved fame. The type of woman who encourages her daughter to dress like sluts and act as bimbos rather than developing and expressing their own individuality. The type of woman who looks down on woman who work to feed their kids and allow their kids personal freedom. This type of woman deserves no voice or say in anything because she is a waste of cells and has n real role in society.
Soccer Mom: My daughter is going with her friends to a Justin Bieber concert, he's the thing they're into these days.
Real Mom: Mine is going to alice in chains and soundgarden concert, she like those bands because people actually remember them after five years.
Soccer Mom: Ugh, your daughter is a misfit, I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out like you, she'll never be like mine
Real Mom: (laughs in her face) And that's supposed to be a bad thing?
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All of them are fucking bitchez.
soccer moms can suck it.
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A middle-upper class female who is 30-50 years old and constantly getting massages and other shit to try to look younger and sexier so their corporate husband stops screwing his secretary. Always , and i cant stress this more ALWAYS seen driving a huge-ass SVU in which a mile of gas is equal to a fuckin' flight trip from Washington D.C to Australia, usually responsible for accidents and wars over oil such as the Iraq War.Seen driving with a huge-mega-fuck size cup of coffee and blaberring publicly on her new phone and sliding in anew kidz bop 98887 cd for her kids to listen while driving them to choir and some shit like that . These abominations are responsible for ESRB, FCC, kidz bop and the Smile of a Child Network. Usually Christian and 99.9% Catholic, always bitchin' that catholism is the best religon to other Christians such as Baptists and Orthodox. Their world revoles around their kids usually named "Britney" or "Biff"- perfect little angels.The kids are usually forced to watch the Smile of a Child network, listen to Radio Disney.Always overprotected and usually never heard of the word "internet" and never watched fox because of their damn v-chip that their stupid-ass soccer mom was trying to figure out for 2 years. The kids grow up either to continue the horrid cycle or to become hardcore atheists and heroin junkies.
Example1
Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
SOCCERMOM: WELL JESUS WAS CATHOLIC.
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.
Example2
Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
SOCCERMOM: IM TELLING YOUR MOTHERS , LISTEN TO SOMETHING GOOD LIKE CELINE DION
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-
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We must not fear the soccer mom for much longer, with gas prices going up they will go broke soon trying to fill up their stupid ass suv's at the gas station. As we speak these clumsy beasts are taking hairpin turns flipping over their top heavy cars and then bursting into flames. If the Soccer mom spawn have not completley self destructed themselves in the coming few months we must take action. Here are a few ways you can overcome and destory one if you come across one
-Stake through the heart
-silver bullets
-garlic
-removing or destroying the brain
-etc.
"walking down the street"
Me: Holy shit what is that
Soccer Mom: How dare you use that foul language in front of my kids!!!!!! *Claws expand*
Me: ahhhhhhh "Machete slice"
SM: GURGLE GURGLE
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