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The sport that broke my freaking ankle and sprained the other one!
50👍 74👎
A game enjoyed by ten year olds and people outside the United States. Nobody relevant enjoys soccer. It is a faggy looking game you can get no pleasure participating in or watching. Eurofags especially get worked up over it, because in their countries, soccer is the only thing they're good at, as they've long been irrelevant as world powers for ages. In Europe, soccer is called "football". It makes more sense to call that football than American football, but since it's such a shitty sport, nobody in the U.S. can bring themselves to call it that.
Eurofag: Blimey, mate, what a rousing game of football!
American: Soccer's for fags, limey.
Eurofag: Wot wot? Oh yeah? Well the pound beats the dollar!
American: Enjoy your faggy no-hands game, loser with bad teeth.
78👍 123👎
A sport that is enamoured around the world but here in America is only suited for those under fifteen years of age.
About that time for soccer eh?
Right on!
62👍 96👎
The softest sport on earth. Only played by kids who can't take a hit or do anything other than kick a ball. People who play soccer are not respected and should switch to another tougher sport such as hockey.
"His arms are the size of my finger...he must play soccer"
19👍 24👎
A simple game invented by English women who wanted to kill some time while their husbands cleaned the apartment and cooked dinner. (During WWII, thousands of American GIs stationed in Britain prior to the D-Day invasion were able keep British women occupied which led to a temporary decrease in soccer's popularity)
Soccer requires moderate stamina but very little skill or strategy, which is why it is such a popular sport in Bolivia and the UK as well as with special education students in the U.S.
Studies have shown a direct link between fondness for soccer and frequent masturbation, which is why Britain excels at wanking.
Soccer fans have inferiority complexes which explains why they have to grossly exaggerate the "skills" required to play soccer (i.e. kicking a ball around and remembering which goal is yours).
Last year, the American WOMEN'S team defeated several European men's teams, which surprised many observers.
Soccer is popular in countries with low per capita GDP and high rates of illiteracy. Soccer is not very popular in Canada and the U.S.
125👍 211👎
The eupropean alternative to being gay.
1: Wow! Soccer!
2: You gay!
1: What, just cuz i like to watch sweaty men kicking a ball around for 5 hours straight?!
2:dont pitch a tent when you talk to me boyo!
56👍 88👎
A slower, easier, wimpier version of hockey. Boring. Guys tend to fall on the field crying after barely any contact and the refs give out red cards for nothing.
*watching soccer on tv*
guy 1: this is gay
guy 2: yeah check out if there's hockey on. i cant watch this shit any longer
21👍 29👎