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The female version of a dick measuring contest.
She interrupted Bill and Dave, arguing over who had the biggest tires on their Jeep, with "I'm not getting into a Canal Measuring Contest with you two!", knowing it would eventually lead into another Nascar discussion. This, in fact, served the purpose of calling them women without them getting the joke.
An exact copy of the Eurovision Song Contest 👀
-Do you know what the American Song Contest is?
-Yes! Its exactly the same as the Eurovision Song Contest..
A staring contest between two Spartans. It is indeed the most intense of staring contests.
"What are Leonidas and Chief doing?"
"Oh shit, that's a spartan staring contest, we should leave."
"Why?"
"Because you don't want to find out what happens when one of them loses..."
Guy 1: Oh man I have to scrub the deck today. Guy 2: I'm on latrine duty, you want a cookie? Guy 3: You done with your richard measuring contest? We have things to do.
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A contest where the guy with the shrimp dick gets the prize.
Irish guy- All right, my penis is smaller, its always been smaller.
Other guy- No, not so fast, mine is smaller buddy, I'm not giving you this one.
Asian guy- Shut the fuck up both of you, you're both stupid, mine is the smallest.
Irish guy and other guy- Fuck he's gotta have us by a half inch, I think he put ice on his dick before we started.
Asian guy- There is no ice, no acupuncture, and its not a trick, I get prize for smallest penis contest!
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A way of saying thanks when someone does something outrageous. Literally means "for that I will fuck you"
Dude, heres that 30 inch brass dildo you wanted.
shit man, cornetto love contest!
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The act of drunkenly attempting to make your drunken buddies vomit by making them envision increasingly disgusting things.
"Hey, should we hit Terry with a gross out contest?"
"Yea, dude I have the perfect one."
"Yo, Terry, you know what's freaky?"
"What?"
"Technically, when we were babies, our dicks were inside our moms. We've had sex with our moms."
"BLEEEEEUUUURGH"
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