Fair Witness

Fair Witness is a fictional profession invented by Robert Heinlein. (Stranger in a Strange Land)

A Fair Witness is an individual trained to observe events and report exactly what he or she sees and hears, making no extrapolations or assumptions. An eidetic memory is a prerequisite for the job, although this may be attainable with suitable training.

In Heinlein's society, a Fair Witness is a highly reputable source of information. By custom, a Fair Witness acting professionally, generally wearing distinctive white robes, is never addressed directly, and is never acknowledged by anyone present.

While Fair Witnesses may hold jobs, at all times they must honor the traditions of the Fair Witness and do their best to avoid any possibility of bias when wearing the robes and repeating the truth of what they have seen, done or heard.

Fair Witnesses are prohibited from drawing conclusions about what they observe. As a demonstration, in the novel a Fair Witness was asked to describe the color of a house in the distance. She responds, "It's white on this side"; whereupon Heinlein explains that she would not assume knowledge of the color of the other sides of the house without being able to see them. Furthermore, after observing another side of the house she would not then assume that any previously seen side was still the same color as last reported, even if only minutes before.

You can trust what he says. He's the closest thing to a "fair witness" of anybody I've ever known.

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wit

the true definition of wit. banecoger. this inTRAnet user is one of the funniest pieces of acne grease ever to grace your screen.

har har one up to da dude

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witness the thickness

Bearing witness to a particularly pleasant ass, which is both fit and capable of strenous activity.

Damn Holmes, witness the thickness!
(As a woman with an attractive rear end walks by.)
Indeed Watson, quite an assadocious young lady...

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Battle of the Wits

Used in many improv clubs worldwide to reference an improv topic that takes superior creative thinking and talent to pull off, not a topic like "underwear on your head".

John: Progressive parenting, battle of the wits.
Noah: This is a tough one guys can we do it?
Justin: (pees pants)

clean wit it

referring to Alex's drip (see drip)

damn G, you are clean wit it

Trump’s Witnesses

Also known as the “Trump Old Party” (TOP). A far-right subgroup of the GOP, which may be likened to a political equivalent of Jehovah’s Witnesses. White nationalists who misuse Christianity to reach out to undecided or apathetic voters, by warning them to stay away from socialist or alt-left politicians who support abortion, same-sex marriages, illegal immigration, and multiculturalism.

Guesstimate how many ultra-MAGA patriots in red-pilled states who just hate being called “Trump’s Witnesses.”

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Keyboardcat Witness

Keyboardcat Witness -

1. a worshiper of The Keyboard Cat.

2. One who has witnessed the greatness of Keyboardcat.

3. A Spin off of the Church of Ceiling Cat.

He is a Keyboardcat witness they meet on thursdays and watch many episodes of Keyboardcat religiously.

He is a member of the Keyboardcat witnesses.

Tom is not catholic, he is a Keyboardcat witness.