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1. Someone, whom you likely don’t know, that is such a douchebag that you find yourself entertained by his or her antics.
2. Someone, whom you likely know, that is such a douchebag that you are required to find humor in their douchiness in order to maintain your sanity.
3. A situation of either of the above.
1. Charlie Sheen is an amuse douche. His “winning” breakdown was so out of control that I found the whole thing hilarious.
2. My best friend’s husband is an amuse douche. He is so controlling of her and such an ass to me that I have to make fun of his bullshit just to maintain my composure around him.
3. This morning’s commute was a total amuse douche. To begin with, I was late getting out of the house. Then I got stuck behind a car that refused to go over 15 in a 30 zone, and once I finally passed them and thought I had free sailing, there was a massive construction backup on the freeway. I was over an hour late to work, and I could only laugh at the stupidity of slow drivers and the state’s inability to post pre-construction notices as I was trying to explain to my boss why I had missed the meeting.
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A jar which you put money in, for every time someone makes a douchebag comment.
Paul:Dude I'm struggling to find a date tonight man.
Kevin:Wow dude you such a freaking embarrassment, like how easy could it be to ask a girl on a date...well it is for good looking guys anyways.
Malcolm:O.K. bro that's a visit to the douche jar.
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1. A flexible rubber apparatus used as a reservoir for fluids used to clean the female vagina (see also poontang, quim, etc.) on an unnecessary basis.
2. A conceited male fantasist possessing scant regard for the opinions of others and possessed of a remarkable degree of economy with the truth. Probably thinks he is the shizzler. May be alone in this opinion.
I need a douche 'coz I have a smelly cunt.
I'm a sexually repressed Catholic so I would like a nice douche. May I please borrow your douche bag?
He pretended to graduate from VMI when he is really a Cal U alum. What a douche bag.
Only douches take shop. Only douche bags teach it.
That fucker says he had a Porsche when it was only a kit car. Fucking douche.
Fucking douche bag forgot his own daughter's name and tried hitting on some teenybopper. Turd. No grip on reality. What a fucking douche bag.
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A legitamate SOB, who drains all of the potential hilarity, romance, deepness, etc. out of a line, or joke by informing everyone around, the phrase that was stated was stolen from such-and-such movie, show, commercial, etc.
an inconsiderate that kills the mood by leaking the reference point of something someone has said
dude 1: Hey! My TOMS finally came in!!
Dude 2: ALGEBRAIC!!!!
Dude 3: You got that from adventure time!
Dude 2: wow, way to be a resource douche.
Chick: Asdgdhdhf!!!! I need more lipstick!!
dude: you're amazing, just the way you are.
Chick: That's a line from a Bruno Mars song!!
dude: thanks for killing the moment, you resource douche.
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The combination of being a large douche bag and a little bitch.
Rainey, you love anal sex and doo doo butter so much...what a Douche Puppy
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the scale of douches, 1 being really good and 100 being really bad.
1 - 10: Genuinely Nice Guy.
(Sensitive, sweet. 1 - 5 = pure)
11 - 20: Average Guy.
(Most guys in this category. nice, but not super sweet. 15 and under are a bit sensitive.)
21 - 30: Douchemuffin.
(Nice, but still douchey. not annoying.)
31 - 40: Douchemeister.
(annoying, but a little amusing.)
41 - 50: Doucheface.
(tolerable to an extent, a bit more annoying than a Douchemeister.)
51 - 60: Douchebag.
(stereotypical Douchebag, hater.)
61 - 70: Douchemonkey.
(harasser, troll, mild player.)
71 - 80: Douchenozzle.
(messes with girls' emotions, immature, player.)
81 - 90: Douchefaqué. (also pronounced Douchefag.)
(extreme player, intolerant to others that are different sexist, racist, etc.)
91 - 100: Supreme Master Doucheface.
(Abuser. 91 - 93 = emotional abuse. 94 - 97 = physical abuse. 98 - 100 = both.)
Notes:
1 - 50 = tolerable.
51 - 100 = bitchworthy, insensitive.
**Reasons must be provided for any ratings over 60.
She used the Douche Scale to rate him as an 80, a Douchenozzle.
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1 part Douchebag 1 part urinal cake. Generally a step bellow douchebag.
A douchebag would be someone like Tiger Woods, Bono or any of the members of Stone Temple Pilot. A Douche Cake would be someone like Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Arnold Swarzenegger, or any of the members of Hootie and the Blowfish.
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