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Random
When you're procrastinating on some task by browsing the internet but you're running out of your normal sites to distract you.
I was unmotivated at work today so I was stretching the internet.
Larry: Hey Leon, I just bought some underwear from the internet, they were worn by an internet hooker!!
Leon: Damn Larry, you an internet trucker.
The act of reading something on the internet (on usenet, in the days before the web was invented) and simply physically nodding your head in agreement rather than posting a (content-free) "me too" message.
Yeah, I saw that, and I gave it an internet nod.
When one's internet runs slow for a few days and becomes annoying
Guy 1: I downloaded this album and it took me a day
Guy 2: your internet has been shit for the past few days
Guy 1: Yeah its on its internet period I can't be bothered with it
when you internet is so slow it's like you live on the farm
Dam Ben! Why you still paying for this farm internet - upgrade man!
Porn on the internet
Damn Metehan, you're always surfing that wet internet!
A guy you hire to watch porn and masturbate, as you, the customer, watches for amusement.
Guy A: Oh, hey thanks for coming. Been waiting all week for you to come by.
Internet Guy: No problem, my schedule has been all backed up. So, where's the computer.
Guy A: Well, here it is.
Internet Guy: (Begins to search up porn, and remove pants) Well here we go.
Guy A: Oh, yeah. You are the best Internet guy, I had... <3