Tea Tree Oil

Amazing oil with many uses.

-Use on piercings, to reduce swelling
-Use with warm water for all-purpose non-toxic disinfectant cleaner
-Used as massage oil

Smells like crap

Person 1: Damnit, my cartilage piercing has a bubble on it.
Person 2: Put some TTO(Tea Tree Oil) on it. It smells like shit, but it works.

35👍 4👎

Happy Tree Friend

An adorable little woodland creature that often dies in horrible, bloody, and often unimaginable freak accidents.

The common sound of a Happy Tree Friend: Wheeeeeeeeee!! Ahhahaha! Wheeeeeee--Ackk! Umph! Ohh!! <whimper> <whimper>... Huh? Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! Ack--gahhhhh...<expires>

133👍 24👎

burn down a tree

smoke a joint, smoke weed

let's burn down a tree

Make like a tree

Its means leave, like leaf (its a bad pun)

Let's make like a tree and get the fuck outta here

awkward palm tree

a member of the "awkward objects" community of phrases.

formed by the relaxed and smooth crossing of the wrists featuring the somewhat vertical placement of the arms to form the trunks of the tree. the fingers are then free to move as though they are blowing in the awkward wind.

my personal favorite "awkward" is the awkward palm tree.

53👍 9👎

that tree is far away

The expression "that tree is far away" is used in situations to express that the last statement made by that speaker is irrelevant and unimportant information that can be ignored, rather than repeated. It's best used as a reply when a person mumbles something, an accompanying individual cannot understand and asks for them to re-say their last line, only to be told "that tree is far away," indicating that what they originally spoke was not worth repeating.

It's derived from a Mitch Hedberg comedy act:
"I mumble a lot on stage, I'm a mumblerer. But sometimes what I mumble is some insignificant shit. Like I'll be walking down the street with my friend, and I will have said something, but he didn't hear me, so he says "What!?" SO I'll say it again, and again he had not heard me, so he'd say, "What!?" And now by this time I am yelling "That tree is very far away!"

Two people are walking to the subway...
Person A: (mumbles) Smells like popcorn in here
Person B: What?
Person A: Nothing
Person B: ???
Person A: That tree is far away

39👍 6👎

Montana Tree Stand

Developed by hunters in Montana, this technique involves sitting on you're buddy's shoulders, but crotch to face. This offers a stable platform for getting a giraffe's view of your surroundings when the landscape is barren and flatter than a witch's tit. Though primarily used for hunting in open prairie, the Montana Tree Stand Is also practical for hay fields and Rascal Flatts concerts.

Using the Montana Tree Stand, with his taint securely anchored to his Hank's face, Bubba was able to spot a herd of antelope on the horizon.