you should have gone to specsavers

When you go to bed with a stunning blonde and wake up next to fat Bob's granny. It is then that it dawns on you that when purchasing your beer goggles you REALLY should have gone to specsavers.

Guy1: Dang, i swear she at least had legs when we was in the club

Guy2: Yeah....You should have gone to Specsavers.....

34👍 5👎

to have a roo loose in the top paddock

An Australian colloquialism; describing someone intellectually impaired or moronic.
In the case of this phrase, the term "roo" is an abbreviation for kangaroo, an Australian marsupial.

Used emphatically, the phrase is sometimes amended to "a few roos loose in the top paddock".

To have a roo loose in the top paddock:

After John spent all those years on weed, he talked liked he had a roo loose in the top paddock.

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Bitch better have my honey

The equivalent of "Bitch better have my money" said while wearing a bear suit a la Blake form Workaholics.

Adam: You ready to get weid tonight or whhhhaaaatttt?

Blake: Fuuur sure.

Adam: Yo, you lookin' straight grizzly!

Blake: Bitch better have my honey.

Adam: Ohhh, bear puns. I like that.

24👍 3👎

have her cake and eat it too

Once eaten, you no longer have it. Like having money and spending it all. Also, in marriage, security vs. freedom - if one cheats, they lose their security of keeping their mate.

She's married to Bob but seeing Bill. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

39👍 6👎

I Have Children In My Basement

Instead of saying you have something you can say the much better phrase I Have Children In My Basement

hello did you know I Have Children In My Basement

do I have a big pp

yes you do your pp big very big

jared: do I have a big pp

jane: yes your pp very big

Have a baby through my ass.

Take a really big dump.

After two helpings of Thanksgiving dinner last night and my morning cup of coffee, I feel like I'm going to have a baby through my ass.

30👍 4👎