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oh man.. last night i tought the one eyed china man how to dance
63👍 15👎
Puke-worthy show about five adults who dick around and whine that their lives suck, despite living in an apartment in New York approximately the size of the Taj Mahal. Packed with cheap laughs and lazy storytelling to keep you strung along until nine seasons later when you realize it was all horseshit.
Typical How I Met Your Mother scene
Marshall: Hey, Ted, have you found love yet?
Ted: No, I haven't found anyone as sensitive and introspective as I am.
Barney: I banged a really hot chick last night UHUHUHUHUHUHUH
30👍 113👎
The best quote from the office
Well well well how the turn tables you have activated my trap card
38👍 6👎
Someone asking how fast they have to walk for people to not realize they have dupe shoes. Respond with a joke. I.e. "bro can meditate" or "bro gotta start running💀"
Person 1: bro how fast do I have to walk?
Person 2: you can fucking meditate dude.
Person 1: bro how fast do I gotta walk?
Person 2: Nah you have to teleport or some shit.
39👍 6👎
A sarcastic phrase meant to downplay the complaint or misfortune of another person, similar to playing the world's tiniest violin with one's fingers.
It is a reference to the assassination of President Lincoln. Can be substituted with any phrase referring to a tragic event, such as, "Other than that, how was the flight, Sullie?"
"I just found out I have to work this weekend."
"Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"
4661👍 1760👎
Stick a pineapple in your girlfriends ass and have sex
how to have a boy and girl twin is very easy, just put a pineapple in your girlfriends ass and have sex. Easy right?
2👍 3👎
Do you like how I walk?
Do you like how I talk?
Do you like how my face
Disintegrates into chalk?
8👍 1👎