text her smiley face

A text messaging technique that gets the attention and interest of the female who receives it.

It works every time.

text her smiley face, like so :-)

tongue jacking her shitbox

When a man buries his face in a good looking woman's ass and goes to town. Can be quite the experience for the woman where as there are no inhibitions from the man.

Holy shit, that's a good looking broad, I wish I was tongue jacking her shitbox!

I'd suck her dick

A dysphemism for infatuation, specifically a man's for a woman. Used to express such extreme infatuation that the man would go to any length to please the woman in an attempt to enter into a relationship with her. Discovering "her" to actually be a transvestite or transgendered male and the heterosexual male then proceeding to perform oral sex on the "woman" is the quintessential example of extreme infatuation. This implies that any lesser requirement for a relationship is well within the man's willingness to provide.

boB: "Jacey is so hot, I'd suck her dick!"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"

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I'd put it in her butt.

A broad compliment to a pretty girl. Usually in the case where you would like to sleep with her, but she isn't worth getting pregnant and having to stick around with for 18 years

You: Hey man, look at the hottie over there.
Me: Damn, yeah "I'd put it in her butt."

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where her legs begin

A poetic way of saying pussy.

Brandon sat around thinking of Amelia and how he would love to get back to where her legs begin.

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i hardly know her

a phrase commonly paired with words that end in the suffix -er, either literally or phonetically. as long as it near-rhymes with the word banger, the joke will work.

"blender? i hardly know her!"
"liquor? i hardly know her?"

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I'd put a wig on her

To declare that you would gladly participate in sexual relations with a woman.
To say that you find a woman attractive.

Hey have you seen that girl dancing over there?
Yeah man, I'd put a wig on her.
I'd put a wig on her all night long.

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