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Random
To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.
Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.
When you get called a simp and are told not to jack it so you wank it in {spite} of the person.
She called me a simp so I pulled a spite wank later that night.
Wanking while choking yourself, being choked by someone else while you wank or being choked by someone else while they wank you
Im going to have the best choke wank tonight
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A woman whose husband no longer finds her sexually attractive, no longer desires to sleep with her and instead spends his free time whacking off to porn.
Jill: Kelly always seems so unhappy anymore. What's going on with her?
Jane: That poor girl's a wank widow. Bob never gives her any attention anymore. Spends all his time on the computer.
n: the act of masturbating with a level of enthusiasm and vigour that one can only achieve with the knowledge of the impending end of the world.
Craig sat quietly in the room while his undead friends and family members scratches at the door and the last of the battery power drained from the torch. "Fuck it!" Said Craig, "I'm busting out an Armageddon Wank before they break in."
The act of masturbating and falling asleep shortly after wards as a result of exhaustion
It was 2am and after pumping out a fat one, I was in a wank coma.
A wank achieved with no aid other than your own memory or imagination.
A power cut is no problem, so long as you have the power of the Think Wank.