Merlin's Beard

A layer of semen on a girl's face in areas where facial hair is commonly found on men, e.g. chin, upper lip, cheeks, neck. Usually results after a blowjob.

"Do you want a blowjob, sweetheart?"

"Yeah! How do you want it to end today, honey?"

"I'd love to have a Merlin's Beard, but whatever you want. It's your special day."

"You want it, you got it!"

16👍 1161👎

captain ricky red beard

aka: Professor Captain Ricky Red Beard
He travels the eight seas looking for bacon strips he commands a crew of bears and his red beard is complemmented by his brown hair. He uses ninja stars and grenades to defeat his rival Alex Garcia who is the Scourage of the Eighth Sea. His adventure will never end as long as there are bacon strips and Garcia still lives.

"oh shit its captain ricky red beard...
...he's a professor"

-Alex Garcia

4👍 2👎

Cuban Bearded Bitch Smack

Is the act of a man ripping out his pubic hair and placing it in the palm of his hand followed by masterbating on said pubic hair in the palm of his hand. When the Pubic hair and Man gravy are mixed you smack the bitch in the face making the man gravy pubic hair mix stick to her face simulating a small beard.

I was doing this bitch doggy style and while she was cumming I gave her the Cuban Bearded Bitch Smack

27👍 30👎

bearded happy face surprise

To take a big steaming shit in a friends restroom while jacking off and picking your nose all at the same time. Prior to finishing the meat beating session the performer 1)wipes two nose goblins on the wall approximately 4 inches apart (the eyes) 2) fishes out the large turd from the bowl and draws a circle (head) around the two boogers and places a poo nose and smiley face within the circle 3) releases a stream of baby gravy on the lower portion of the circle which symbolizes the beard. It is further encouraged that the performer of this act proceeds to smear any excess shit on the mirror, walls, decorative hand towels and/ or any small pets or children living within the confines of the home. One must also not forget to wash ones hands.....after all we would not want to spread any germs.

Mike invited me over to his house to watch the BCS title game....I, being a Ducks fan was a tad bit upset with the outcome. This coupled with the fact that his wife is smelly and has the head of a wildabeast helped me decide that a bearded happy face surprise would be in order prior to my departure.

9👍 8👎

ugly bearded fuck head

any man whose name be Beau

and teaches english

23👍 32👎

Al Gore Failure Beard

An Al Gore failure beard is the cloak of shame worn by men who have been unemployed for over 90 days and don't have any job leads. I also used it for hopeless people and institutions.

"My dad's job search isn't going well. He is rocking an Al Gore failure beard."

"My buddy got laid off last year, and spends a lot of time on LinkedIn. He'll have to shave his Al Gore failure beard when he finally gets an interview."

"My flight was canceled last night, even though we only had an inch of snow. American Airlines is the Al Gore failure beard of the airline industry."

a man without a beard

a male without any facial hair that is a beard

gary wasnt a man without a beard because, for the very simple reason that he grew a beard when he was thirteen in order to plough into girls of his peer group however when he got to the age of 37 without having done any ploughing he realised he was a loser and he would have to use his hand instead

5👍 37👎