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Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano?

A sexual copypasta about Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker about Ahsoka in sexual descriptions.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.

Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.

We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.

by jordypresto0418 February 6, 2021

56👍 11👎


is there anything i can help you look for today?

What a first class sales person says to a prospective customer . Easing the tension and making them feel comfortable in giving you their money for whatever you're selling. Say is there anything I can help you look for today?

Yo, that salesman greeted me when I came into the store to buy a mattress he asked me if there was anything he could do to help me find what I was looking for and I really appreciated his genuine comments. He said is there anything I can help you look for today?

by Old school gangster June 9, 2018

1👍 3👎


Im at the W but I can't meet you in the lobby

it is a play on word. hes talking about racing for love. W for win lobby (L) for lose. he says he at the W so he has won and implying that he would consider the individual in the lobby a loss.

Im at the W but I can't meet you in the lobby

by mike124442 December 10, 2009

16👍 158👎


Oh my, oh my, I have found you, nigga

A predator called big dog big bear lion saying, after finding a nigga.

Big dog big bear lion : Oh my, oh my, I have found you, nigga.

Nigga: ah shi- *starts running*

Big dog big bear lion : Don't you run from me, lil' nigga.

by Dr. Orange, but nicer December 8, 2022


bitch i hope the fuck you do

The most epic fucking comeback ever. Only used when someone threatens you

I’m gonna slap the shit out of you for doing my girl. Bitch I Hope The Fuck You Do.

by blackinmyvoots March 5, 2019

22👍 2👎


How I truly feel about you

The definition of how I feel about you is indescribable, it's heart breaking how much I love you and how much I want to be with you.

Although you may not care how much I long for you, I want you to know, although you may not reply to my messages or you are not always nice to me, I want you to know that I love you and I have for months now.

You make me smile, you make me laugh, you may make me want to cry my eyes out for the need to just hold you close to me.

I suppose the main definition of how I feel about you, is LOVE.

Me; I'm not sure how to tell him how I feel
Friend; tell him soon, maybe after the cinema?
Me; how about a gesture, like a description on UD?
Friend; this is so cute! Go for it! ^_^

Me; *does this* *shows him link to: how I truly feel about you*
Guy; <hopefully feels the same way>

by Meg_27_ December 24, 2012

19👍 1👎


go away or I will replace you with a simple shell script

A shoddy attempt at humor crafted by the Linux community in order to answer back at those who even mildly criticize their half-finished kernel or the "newbies" who are trying to seek help in getting Linux to function properly on their machines. Makes one look stupid when said out loud in a group of people.

Newbie: Can you please help me configure my soundcard and modem? I read the manual, and followed the instructions, but both piece of hardware still refuse to work.
Linux elitist: Go away or I will replace you with a simple shell script, retard.
Newbie: All I did was ask for help, and if this is how you treat those who want to learn about Linux, then you shouldn't be surprised if people go back to using Windows or Mac OS-X.
Linux elitist: Well go back to crashing your Windoze, troll.

by sarcastic May 29, 2004

39👍 124👎