as the actress said to the bishop

Phrs. A jocular catch phrase that draws attention to an otherwise innocent statement by imbuing sexual innuendo. Other variations include "as the mistress said to the gardener".

"as the actress said to the bishop"

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said brown owl

Something that you say immediately after letting go an audible fart in order to confirm your responsibility for it and to capitalize on its potential humor.

He: Ffffffftttttt ... said brown owl ....
She: Funny....

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said no one ever

Declarative phrase appearing at the end of a statement which effectively negates the meaning of the previously stated text. Essentially, the presence of this statement instructs the reader that what has been stated up to this point is a fallacy in that no one would make that statement under any circumstances, at any time (in the past, present or future) in any corner of the known universe.

I am so tired of bacon that I hope I never have to eat it again. Said no one ever.

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what doja said

Doja cat once expressed her love for guys with big noses and explained the reason was because 'you can sit on it'

*tiktok of a conventionally attractive guy with a big nose*
*comments*: what doja said

That's what Hitler said!

The best joke ever. Soon to replace the terrible "that's what SHE said" jokes. Anything mildly anti-Semitic, involving cooking, showers, or gas breeds necessity for this comment.

"You stink, man. Go take a shower!"
'That's what Hitler said!'

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That's What BP Said

A variant of "that's what she said." Instead of referring to sexual connotations, it is used to refer to spending a lot of money, making a mess, or fucking up very badly. Arose after the 2010 BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico.

X: Oh man, I really screwed the pooch on that one.
Y: That's what BP said!

X: It's going to take me all day to clean this mess up.
Y: That's what BP said!

X: I'm paying tonight. The sky is the limit.
Y: That's what BP said!

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That's not what she said

what she wouldn't say.

unlike the common "that's what she said jokes", that's not what she said can be used when describing an act that she wouldn't do or something she wouldn't like. a reverse innuendo. because a normal audience is thrown off by this, it often results in a more uncomfortable situation.

m: we should bring back the "that's not what she said"

k: I am sure it won't be hard.
(that's not what she said)

m: Yeah, I know, but sometimes you're just not in the mood to do something that hard.

(That is not what she said)

k: This exchange could go on for ages. We need to stop.
(That is not what she said)

m: good call. it is never a good idea to stay up all night doing it.
(that is not what she said)

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