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An extremely offensive term for a female yuppie. She drives a mini-van or an SUV with a cell phone in one hand and a Starbucks in the other while watching a DVD player and turning around to talk to her kids in the back. She has an income large enough to vote for Hillary Clinton or some other liberal swine without worrying about having to pay the taxes, because she can shelter the money. She names her daughters Madison or Taylor or Spencer or Cassidy.
Chadwick is a soccer mom. She swears at the referee.
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Woman, normally 30-50, white, Always a Christian, kids are normally home-schooled due to secular filth telling them that you can be happy. If the kids go to public school they are beaten up regulary. Hates anything that can be violent, pornogreaphic, anti-jesus, or homosexual (a.k.a everything.) Enimies include The internets, Green Day, and any good form of Entertainment.
Me: *Listens to Green Day*
Soccer Mom: Why are you listening tho that unsaved trash, you are polluting my kids minds.
Me: Guess what I'm Gay! (always a good replent on these bitches)
*Soccer Mom flees*
Me: Stupid bloke.
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A progression from the shocker and surprise, but not quite the mini van. This consists of one up front with three little ones in the back.
After receiving the soccer mom, my girlfriend knew her destiny in life.
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A blonde middle-aged woman who's spent far too much time at the fake-n'-bake, barely stands five feet tall on her tiptoes, drives an SUV the size of a Sherman tank because she has a female Napoleon complex, and plasters the back of said vehicle with stickers about how her child is a straight A student at <insert here> middle school.
Most of the women driving SUV's around Richmond, VA.
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Homemakers who have a whole shitload of kids because they don't know how to use birth control and instead of working, they spend their weeks and summers shuttling them around in their death trap SUV's to their various activities. They're usually extremely protective when it comes to their kids and try to protect them in every way possible.
I refuse to become a soccer mom. I'm having two kids, total and they'll have one activity each.
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30-50 year old moms, usually living in the suburbs. They usually have about 2-3 kids, and drive them around everywhere in large ass gas guzzling SUVs with bumper stickers saying "My little fuck of a child is an honor roll student at ____ Middle School". Apparently it's impossible to fit two fucking kids in anything less than a car that seats seven.
They stay at home most of the time, working around the house, hauling their kids everywhere to anything like soccer to fucking astronaut school. Oh, and about their kids: The children of soccer moms are their fucking pride and joy, their "angels". They must have the best grades, be the most popular, be the best at soccer, you name it. The kids must be shielded from anything bad, like the occasional "hell" from that sitcom you watch to sex ed at school. They lack freedom of expression as the moms must not let them be able to do anything exciting in life, because apparently going on the internet turns them in to bad people. Which is funny, because half the time they grow up to be lonely shitholes that die from binge drinking or ODing on drugs. So they are not allowed to watch any TV shows rated over TV-G, can only go on the internet for 30 minutes each week with super parental controls turned on, and cannot play any video games over the rating E, even as teenagers.
Religion: The soccer mom is a hard core christian, and anything that is not 100% christian in any way is considered satanic, like TV shows, and ESPECIALLY music. Yep, they're only allowed to listen to boring country christian music shit.
Soccer moms don't do shit besides destroy the environment, take up space, and raise children totally wrong. Their husbands on the other hand, make $80K a year with some job he's always at, most likely fucking his hot co-worker the whole time.
Fuck soccer moms, they are the scum of this Earth and are a disgrace to the name of freedom and expression.
Look at that soccer mom, what a fucking bitch
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A woman who usually wears jeans and tennis shoes, drives a mini-van with a little Jesus fish on the back, and is partly responsible for keeping violent shows off TV and C.D.s with cursings out of the music store. They frequently protest anything that they think will "harm" children and act like pinko commie bastards.
I hate soccer moms!
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