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Canal Coaches

A popular nickname for a not-so-popular company.

Traversing their way around the nether-regions of the UK is Canal Coaches. Offering shite service is simply not enough for Canal's; shite value, shite busses and an appalling safety record combine to make Canal's one of the least-like companies in the history of Lincolnshire transport. Even more so than Microsoft, I believe.

Canal's vehicles, bought in 1969 and not serviced since, have become some-what of a laughing point. You don't actually have to see the company livery to recognise a Canal's vehicle, the plumes of black smoke, the door that won't shut and the squelling fan-belt give it away well before that.

To give you an impression of what a Canal's coach is like to ride on, just imagine sitting on the manifold of a full-reving 1950's diesel engine, while listening to Steps and trying to ignore the vomit stain that is caked to the back of the seat in front. Nice, I'm sure you'll agree.

Complimenting Canal's appalling busses are Canal's appalling drivers. Beauty is not important for a Canal's driver, since any mention of the words 'Canal's Coaches' are sure to distrupt any courting ritual. A sense of direction, or, for that matter, an ounce of intelligence, are not important, since the boss doesn't know himself what the word 'Contract' means.

Canal's not-so-impressive safety record is also laughable. The frequency of accidents is somewhat alarming, the odd wheel falling off during a journey is not uncommon, and neither is the fire-escape randomly opening as you are going down a motor-way. Telling the driver that their is oil pouring out of the back of his bus is pointless, since he won't do anything, and even if Canal's could afford some oil, they'd only pour it down the drain anyway.



"I rode on a bus owned by Canal Coaches last night- the driver fucked my wife and the bus seat ate my wallet"

"The roar of the engine was enormous- shame it was because the exhausht had fallen off"

"I'd like to purchase a ticket to Hell please"

by Becky Barnett June 28, 2006

7๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Coach Joe

Coach of the JV B Kellenberg Lacrosse team. Vietnam war veteran. Coach Joe likes to yell at kids for no reason. He is a former greaser.

Coach Joe: Your not gonna make it to the next level if you don't work on your left hand, boy!!

Coach Joe is sucha boss.

by RNelly May 5, 2011

7๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


coach potato

someone who spends most of their time watching TV and doesn't exercise or have any interesting hobbies. Such a person spends most his/her free time sitting or lying on a coach.

My hubby is killing me; he never socializes. He's never asked me to go out; he's a coach potato.

by Iyad Abdelrahman March 29, 2008

72๐Ÿ‘ 33๐Ÿ‘Ž


Coach Sleezy

To pay a prostitute a large amount of money to have sex with and then cumming way before your time is up causing the session with the prostitute to be over, pretty much a waste of money.

If you pay $300 for one hour with a prostitute and you cum 15 minutes into the session it was like paying $20 a minute or $75 for 15 minutes wasting $225

The way that pro licked my nuts in the bathroom down in AC last weekend caused me to Coach Sleezy.

by Brett Lindros The Mayor of Glenside March 18, 2008

21๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


Coach Z

the struggling coach and soon to be rapper with his smash single "these people try to fade me".from homestarrunner.com

coach z:ive got a great costume!"

by brett October 16, 2003

19๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


coach carter

A phrase used to describe something either superficially inspirational or downright sappy.

First Example

Movie Doctor: Sir, it looks like your son is going to survive the truck accident after all.

Movie Father: COACH CARTER!

Second Example

Driving Teacher: Well, you'll be glad to know that because you saved the family farm from the evil corporation AND drove so well, you are getting your license today!

Driving Student: This news is so Coach Carter!

by Calcium Deficiency May 13, 2008

18๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Life coaching

A person who makes tons of bad decisions and bad life choices but still feels the need to give you advice and how you can improve yourself even though there lives are in the gutter.

Me and Melissa just broke up and Dan who is on his third wife was giving me relationship advice. He was really life coaching me.

by alberto89 February 28, 2021

42๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž