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a badass who can literally take my children <33
"tara is overrated, blah blah blah." - a dumb human figure
"tara carpenter is a cool human being" - a fucking awesome person.
When you Power Nut in your girl then have her fix the bed frame without letting her clean up herself, causing your baby batter to leak down her leg.
Roommate 1: So you guys gonna buy a new bed frame after that Power Nut?
Roommate 2: Nah man, my girl became a Leaking Carpenter and fixed it up quick.
A collection of sixteen of something
The hardware store sells a box of nails by the carpenter’s dozen.
If you have a Julia Carpenter in your life run! shes scary but nice and funny at most times. She likes to sit in her room all day and cry. She naps pretty frequently...too frequently. This bitch is always missing school or shes late. she is the best friend you want. She is sometimes too lazy to do anything but she is a fun girl to get food with and go to parties with. If you have a julia carpenter, be ready for lots lots of crying but fun times whens she is not.
person: "you have a julia carpenter in your life?
persn 2: " yes its pretty amazing"
That guy is an organ carpenter. He widdles fake dicks out of wood
A sexual act of announcing “this is how we did it in Allentown” while shaking your penis before entering a hole.
I gave my girl the shaky carpenter last night.
OMG! Have you seen her?? She is fucking steaming!! Her ass, tits, and everything in between is smoltering!
"Wow, I wonder what Sabrina Carpenter can do with that mouth!"