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LA Detective

a person, especially a police officer, whose occupation is to investigate and solve crimes, but had to suck a ridiculous amount of dick to get to their position.

Wow! Joel just became an LA Detective? I should buy him some mouthwash as a gift.

by axis32 April 17, 2023


lie detective

Kevin Johnson

I made a sandwich on a hot sunny day, on side of the house and then somebody came up and asked for a piece and i said " i don't know you" and they said it look "juicy and succulent" and i said i'm bout to slide up in this house and eat it with some potato chips and then somebody stole it so i had to use my lie detective skills

by sweettitty May 23, 2018


fart-detecting compound

A.k.a. finely-pulverized talc. A substance utilized when you want to find out who's been cutting the cheese, but nobody's willing to 'fess up; the simple procedure involves having everyone strip down and stretch out on their stomachs, whereupon you sprinkle a moderate dusting of baby-powder on the lower half of their ass-cheeks, then watch for a "puffball eruption" --- busted!

Using fart-detecting compound can indeed be an excellent way of reliably determining "who did it", but you will want to be wary about slapping said odiferous-offender's butt afterwards, especially if you're an attractive female --- as you are all too aware, many dudes actually **enjoy** getting spanked by a cute gal (we find it fun and hilariously amusing, plus it makes us horny), and so your hot-headed attempt at getting back at said "whistleblower" may actually "backfire" --- literally! (Pun not intended, but certainly spot-on appropriate in this instance!) Said gassy dude --- and by extension, one or more of his other buddies in the room --- may then begin actively "tuning up the brass band" (and possibly even chow down on baked beans or other gas-producing delicacies to ensure an ample/continuous "supply" ) so as to "earn" smartly-administered swats from you, eventually leaving you with stinging palms and a major headache from da resulting stench.

by QuacksO December 5, 2018


detective pluto

a detective that is solely dedicated to finding and arresting the person who has a stash of mickey mouse toes in their back pocket. They are also distrustful of people who adorn umbrellas with toes to keep away bad vibes.

"look that detective pluto just arrested a whixxle"
"looks like the whixxle's getting their mickey mouse toes confiscated"
"wowee"

by circecirce November 24, 2021


Consulting Detective

Abbreviation CD; A person you hire to investigate a person or organization who is suspected of committing illegal and or unethical acts, or to review a case police were unable to solve that you would like them to solve; or in other words a private investigator or PI

The consulting detective investigated Marcia’s boyfriend and discovered that he was cheating on her with another woman.

by Vanguard 1998 August 25, 2021


Dirty Stevie Steel Private Detective

The private dick who will go as low as low can go to solve a case. Even sleeping with rancid birds low.

I would of got away with it, If it hadn't of been for that Dirty Stevie Steel Private Detective Bastard!!

If Dirty Stevie Private Dick comes around lads slip him that brown envelope, hel keep the vegans away.

by Stevie Steel Private Dick May 31, 2021


Manlet detected

Manlet (a male shorter than 5ft10) detected. Employed to draw attention to the discovery of the location of a manlet. Comically stunted, terminally insecure and brimming with manlet rage, the puny manlet can often be detected when he is blowing in the wind like a leaf outside, stumbling around in public wearing high heels on the way to visit his prison daddy or seethingly glaring at you from the accursed depths of the manlet pit in your local gym.

Hey, why is that child rolling around on the ground over there? Manlet detected - it's Tiny Todd Howard, I think he is wrestling with an earthworm! Lol, that worm must be like an anaconda to that petite and insignificant manlet boy!

by ManletDepreciator August 12, 2024