Random
Source Code
Random
First, there's nothing fruity about the Fruit Law.
It's an important principle of ghetto life that explains the certainty of final retribution after you do something stupid to someone scary.
It states: if you diss a MAN-GO, you must diss-a-PEAR.
That is, if you disrespect the wrong people and walk away without making amends, you are liable to vanish in a painful way.
Loosely based on a Vybz Kartel lyric.
Frankie: "Hey yo, heard about Little John lately? Dude owes everybody money"
Marco: "Really? His widow skipped town after his funeral"
Frankie: "Oops! Fruit Law!"
18👍 1👎
When an individual criticizes whites as a whole, or utters the phrase "fellow white people", and they turn out to be a Jew.
1: Fellow white people we need to recognize all the evil that we have done to others throughout history.
2: They're a jew, another classic case of Goldberg's Law
Every new head of marketing must push to build a custom CMS
New CMO: "Hey guys! Glad to meet you all. We can all agree that WordPress is garbage, am I right? We're better than that!"
Dev whispers to other dev: "Kim's Law strikes again!"
3👍 1👎
No matter how toxic or incorrect it might be, a specific opinion will quickly adopt pseudoscientific and metaphysical evidence to try and legitimize it, such as phrenology and personal belief.
Once bigotry or self-loathing permeate a given community, it is only a matter of time before deep metaphysical significance is assigned to the shape of human skulls.
-- ContraPoints definition of Foppington's Law
328👍 28👎
Named after IR cuckold Tom Shelly, the infamous webmaster of Niggermania; it's a long-observed law identifying the phenomenon of closeted-interracial-cuckoldry found among racists as an overcompensatory coping mechanism. Racists, due to their persistent insecurities, become hyper-obsessed with anything related with black people, rabidly searching the internet for racist posts to justify their impotent, seething racism. With this fixation on black people comes the obsession with black dick: an envisaged large, dark piece of meat that they fear will stretch-out and ruin their crushes, girlfriends, and wives for their own inadequate penises. It's their ultimate taboo; elevated by the all-consuming room black people hold in their heads.
Normal Person: "Ya know, black people aren't bad. I think it's unfortunate how they're disproportionately affected by the American legacy with generations of ghettoization, poverty, and overpolicing, along with other minorities. There should probably be systemic changes to correct this inequality."
Racist: "Fuck n* ggers! Fuck all n* gger loving, BBC worshipping cucks and mud shark wh* res who associate with them! I hope you race traitors get gang r* ped by a bunch of feral n* ggers and become n* gger r* pe slaves!!!"
N P: "Welp, there he goes talking about black dick again. Shelly's Law never fails..."
175👍 14👎
An nba "law" made by ralph lawler, a clippers commentator. Basically says first to 100 points wins. Has been found to be true 91-92% of the time.
"I can breathe now there that lawlers law thing. First to 100 wins, its the law."
57👍 3👎
Also known as "Dick's Rule of Penis Drawing"
Given a male and a blank writing/drawing medium, as the number of things written/drawn increases, the probability of it being a penis approaches 1.
"Did you see Tom's new Ipad? The first thing he did was draw a big hairy dick!"
"Yup. That's Richard's law for you."