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The scant pennies you need to feed the mice living in your flat when the giro fails to arrive and another week of starvation looms. To secure a crisis loan one must first contact the crisis loans department of the centralised social security services where one is put on hold for forty minute intervals interspersed with short bursts of nasty questions in which one is made to feel like the scum of the earth. After two and a half hours (my record) one is then blasted with more insults before being offered £20 for the next two weeks. Then follows an interminable wait at the job centre amongst a sea of human flotsam who are now your nearest living brethren. After a standard wait which sees the job centre close and most the staff leave you are summoned to the back room to be given your crisis loan cheque which you cannot now cash until the following day as the post office has shut.
Unemployed person: I just got my £20 crisis loan.
Employed person: You bloody scrounger! That's my taxes you're drinking away, you scum. MY TAXES!
Unemployed person: But I've nothing else to live on -
Employed person: Get a job and stop making me pay tax! Taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes, ad infinitum.
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a guy who gets frequently turned down for dates, then watches the girl hit it off with a more popular guy
"Damn, lost another loan to Ditech!"
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shady cahracter, normally small with weasly features who employs large henchmen. Usually ritually beaten at school, they loan money to people in dire need (who cannot raise funds through legitimate means), charging 'cricket score' interest rates with the threat of injury if a payment is missed.
"Ow, that hurt! I promise to pay the loan shark next week, sir"
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Smoking beautiful woman who is likely vietnamese but grew up in Germany and also lived in the US. This background gives a Mai-Loan the ability to swear at you in many different languages the scariest of which is German. A Mai-Loan is likely to be one of the most interesting people you will meet if you get the opportunity.
After Mai-Loan yelled at the Neo-Nazi she got a round of applause then kissed the cutest girl in the bar.
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an interest-free loan between bros, short-term and usually for a small or medium-sized amount.
Friend 1: Dude I need a bro loan, I'm taking out this hottie tonight and I'm fuckin' broke.
Friend 2: You suck with money. Show me a picture.......alright, yeah she's hot. Fine, I'll spot you a couple friendjamins.
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An intelligent, pretty, skinny, asian girl.
She usually has long, wispy, jet black hair, a round face, and a slim body.
She is random, and cute, and won't let her close friends down.
She also is lazy but, will work when she has to.
Girl 1: Hey! How'd you get that math problem right?! I can't even understand it!
Girl 2: Thu Loan helped me.
Girl 1 : She's so perfect! Skinny, pretty, and a genius, I wish I was her.
Girl 2: I know right!
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a party that charges rediculously high interest rates in return for financing short-term, high-risk loans. historically a member of organized crime, these days it's likely a "pay day loan" business.
i needed a quick $300 so i took out a pay day loan. those loan sharks charged me 782% interest
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