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WON'T KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE 'TILL AFTER YOU HAVE SEX
Vanderbilt: So seraph, how much of a pedophile do you feel like right now?
Vanderbilt: Even though you don't know what the other two girls look like.
Seraph: uhm...
Kassie: MYSTERY WHORE
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A man or woman who roams around schools, gagging people with blue roll and paper.
Person 1: I heard Ethan got gagged by the mysterious gagger, again!
Person 2: Bet it was some Reeno
To smoke a joint in a hippy van, smoking weed
Hey yo Gerald, let's go solve a mystery in your van after class, and maybe get some Taco Bell on the way!
That abnormally long and thick rogue hair that appears on your **** (*insert chin, neck, cheek, shoulder, nose, etc) only a day after you checked last. Most commonly complained about by women, and most commonly pointed out by a third party when you are least likely to have tweezers handy. Don't even both trying to pluck them with your fingernails...they're virtually invincible.
Sitting in a cab on the on the way to a formal event, the victim's most critical friend looks over and notices an "eyelash" on said victim's chin. With a delicate brush of her finger, critical friend attempts to dust it away, only to be met with spiny resistance. With a maniacal laugh and inability to hide her pleasure, critical friend declares "OMG, you've got a Mystery Hair!". The victim's face pales as she realizes there are no tweezers in her tiny, formal clutch.
(aside: Victim obsessively touches it throughout the evening, only to wake the next morning with the mystery hair twice as long and a small patch of acne).
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Unentered vagina, virgin pussy, muff that has never been descended upon, uncharted territory, uneaten pie.
One must have utmost respect for the mystery-muff and only go diving if he wishes to partake in the activities of it for at least another week, seeing as though the availability of such is diminished in urban society.
When demystified you will know as it bleeds for short periods of time, perhaps half a day, and is a mystery to men no longer.
Still classified as mystery no matter what amount of diving one is involved in.
Sometimes used by ho bags to try and convince people to engage them without the use of disinfectant. (see: ho bag)
Sometimes one may refer to the virgin herself as mystery muff.
Can you believe the tits on that mystery-muff? I am gonna hit that shit on this trip baby! Oh Yeah!
Mysterious Maxxing is when someone is here one message and gone the next. A serial ghoster who comes back and taunts you. Although your friends may never be aware, don’t be surprised if they also become victims of Mysterious Maxxing. How good are your detective skills cause even Scooby Doo can’t solve this mystery!?
“He’s doing it again! He’s totally Mysterious Maxxing me!”
When a person sharts himself or herself without knowing the shade, volume, or mass of the said poop. The only way to solve the mystery is to de-mask the villain, which by the way is your underwear. Try that on for size, Scooby Doo and friends.
Shaggy: "Zoinks Scoob, Like I just planted a double chocolate fudge surprise in my pants."
Scooby: "Ruhroh Shaggy, guess them Scooby Snacks were expired. Hehehehehehe."
Fred: "Well gang, looks like the Brown Mystery strikes again."