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A rule that is sometimes used while smoking a blunt. 2 hits and pass, keep it moving
Someone spark up, 2hit Religious on this blunt
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The act of segregating, discriminating or mass murdering large groups of people due to religious differences. Often thought as purification, it is an ancient practice used to "cleanse the world" of anyone who is not a member of that particular religion. Anyone opposing the purification are imprisoned, expelled or slaughtered in the name of whatever god or diety posessed them to commit the atrocity.
Caleb: Whatever happened to the religious order that used to that religious bunch in the next town?
Dave: I heard they were rounded up and either taken away or executed. Something about a religious cleansing.
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People who assume that just because the universe exists, it must been have crafted especially for us.
They also assume it must have a purpose. In their desperation for said purpose, they are willing to ignore all evidence to the contrary of the validity of their dogmatic teachings. Such denial often results in much hilarity (see Creationism).
If that weren't enough, they go further in assuming the fantastic privilege of an afterlife, when no such evidence for one exists.
Ah, religious people...no wonder they used to think all the planets revolved around the Earth!
If the word anthropocentric doesn't fit in just perfectly here, I don't know what does.
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fairies who bow down to the ween
you know those two pirates are sack-religious
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When you are religiously homophobic, it's not that you don't like gay people but you just don't think that being gay is right.
Man 1: Why don't you like gay people, are you homophobic?
Man 2: I'm not homophobic, I'm religiously homophobic because I am a Christian.
Man 1: Isn't that just silently judging people?
Man 2: Yes.
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1. People who actually believe truthfully and Entirely the entirety of the religion they attempt to follow as the Inerrent Word of God.
Not to be confused with "pick and choosers" or " religious posers", of whom make any religion they proclaim no less esteemed than their favorite sports team, or no less different than adopting to bowing down to a carved tree stump.
2. True believers who follow the text to the letter, not ignoring parts they dislike.
3. People brave enough to BELIEVE what they believe.
4. People reguarded as Crazies because they honestly think the idea of an all-knowing all-powerful SOMETHING/being (God) that creating the universe, as opposed to Nothingness farting out everything in a constructive Explosion that miraculously created an incredibly complex, perfectly functioning universe, and due to this suspicion of such a being, actively sought after who this God is, and found satisfaction in some certain explaination.
Often annoying to unbelievers of adopted belief, and usually judged by lukewarmly moraled or worldly people of whom dispise a person who truely follows the religion.
Oftened accused of being self-righteous for actions such as tithing their money to houses of worship, or stating their moral beliefs publicly(see Pharisee,hypocrit,poser)which may be true ,as many practice their morality out of pride or social fear, but a great many practice these things out of the always unnoticed love and/or terror of/for their adopted God.
(please, pause just a moment to reread and let the last part of that paragraph sink in...)
Reguardless of the outcome, Real fundamentalists are truely unlike "hypocrits" seeing as they really do try to follow their religion.
5. Those who choose to believe what the book actually says or, in other words, the "fundementals"
What a Religious Fundamentalist would say:
"Jewish Follower" I believe one must not break the law of God in order to go to heaven. Usually I adopt what my Teacher interprets the Torah and Talmud to mean, and take it as is. My law, the Law of Moses, is fairly cut and dry, and I observe the Sabbath and ceremonies adopted by current teachers of the law. I await the coming of the Messiah, the King of Israel.
"Protestant Christian" I believe that the universe was created by God in 7 days literally, and I believe Christ is the literal virgin-born Son of God ( i.e. God in Flesh) and returning Messiah,fortold by prophets, who died for the atonement of sins of the world, and rose to life after 3 days of death by God in Heaven. I interpret the bible literally, understanding when simile and metaphor are truely intended. I follow a law consisting of Moral Perfection, of which no man but Jesus has ever fully followed, and of this, thought I put forth effort to follow, I am often but not always labeled a hypocrit unfairly due to the laws impossiblity of follow in my earthly flesh, but is nonetheless, Morally perfect. I believe in a specific salvation of which one cannot attain of/by themself. I get under people's skin who dislike to hear the message of Christianity and for stating and fighting for my moral believes. I believe non-saved go to hell because perfect God must punish sin and evil. I often fail to love people as my God has commanded.
Different churches other Protestants attend tend to have remarkably similar doctrine, or else they are commonly recognized as a "cult" or Heresy"
"Catholic Christian" I believe what Catholic Doctrine mandates as the infallible Interpretation of God's will and word, and the R-Catholics are the True Church and. I believe salvation comes through sacrements and that non-catholics go to hell for eternity. I believe salvation is undeterminable, but people basically Must spend a time in a fiery place called Purgatory after death as punishment for sin. Some will not reform, as thus will be cast to Hell. I tend to dislike other religions i.e. "heretics" of any sort.
"Mormon" I believe Joseph Smith is a prophet who is now equal to God by attainment, and Mormons who die will someday achieve Godhood, as our doctrine states. I believe souls already exist before birth, and I must have as many children as possible for them to inhabit.
I believe evil people cease to exist and Mormons become Gods, ruling their own planets; this is to be hidden from converts and heathens for as long as possible.
"Muslim" I believe, as my Quran plainly states, the Muhammad is the final prophet of Allah (god), and that to Go to heaven one must follow the Laws and ceremonies of Islam, Adopt the Quran and accept Allah as God. I believe that my eternal destiny is undeterminable UNLESS I Die in Jihad, which is a holy war of retaking Muslim belongings and freedom. I believe that non-believers are doomed to hell, and that they must be converted for the glory of God, by force if neccisary. Surahs (verses) in my quran command me to convert at the point of sword or kill unbelievers wherever I see them, and that ANY country or city under muslim control which falls into any unbelievers hands is to be warred over until regained, thus ensuring the ultimate victory of Allah the Merciful. This is why my fellow Muslims must retake Israel, as it's very existence is an embarrassment to Allah. (note to any that find this offensive, this is what the book states, just because most muslims don't do what Allah plainly commands, get over it)
"Athiest" I believe there is no god of any sort, and that nothingness farted out the universe. I am fine with people that are truely agnostics (unsure people) proclaiming atheism, because it adds that much more credit to my belief. I believe nothingness farted out our incredible universe, similar to the creationism of age-old Greek Mythology. I tend to believe what prominent people write in intellectual books and take it as truth without self-testing, same as religious people do their beliefs. I do not seek after wheter or not God Is, because I am persuaded with no reason to desire to believe so.
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A pan-religious person is a person believing in ALL religions.
- "Mike is pan-religious, he's an idiot."
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