awkward salmon

A gesture used to relieve the tension of an awkward situation.

The awkward salmon is usually performed when sitting, although it can be done standing. The person spreads his legs slightly apart and puts his hand in between them close to the knees. Then he rapidly moves his hand back and forth slapping each leg to simulate the sound of a salmon flopping around on the ground.

The awkward salmon can become even more awkward (and a lot funnier) if a person sneaks up behind another person and performs the awkward salmon on the victim.

Grandma: Damn your grandpa is good in bed.
Grandson: (to his friends)... AWKWARD SALMON!

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salmon turd

A turd that just won't flush

I've just had a huge salmon turd - the little sucka has swum back upstream to haunt me

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Knackered as a salmon

exhausted, very tired
used to describe, ones self, or someone else when they are physically or mentally exhausted

'when i got to the top of Mt. Everast I was knackered as a salmon'

'i had to stay up for 3 days straight, now im knackered as a salmon'

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Salmon Fillet

A salmon fillet refers to the vagina of a young, well groomed, well maintained girl who’s pussy is a reflection of this...

The pussy has the look, feel and elasticity of a razor thin slit in a fresh salmon fillet that has been placed in the microwave for a period of 15 seconds (to become body temperature)

"Dude, I went out with this sick asian school girl last night"

"For real, how was the pussy?"

"salmon fillet motherfucker"

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Salmon Toupee

A very hairy vagina that is overgown, unkept, dirty and smells extremely fishy.

Jorge picked up a hot babe at the local tavern and took her home for a romp in the sack. However, he became overwhelmed with nausea after she disrobed and revealed her Salmon Toupee. Jorge gagged as he ran out the door.

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Barking Salmon

The act of making your sex partner (female) puke while having sex with her doggy style for the purposes of contracting and squeezing her vaginal walls. The reference comes from the twitching and contortions that the female makes while puking that looks like a salmon flopping upstream.

Bob finally got Sally to perform a barking salmon last night and things got a little messy.

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Landing a salmon

The act of masturbrating in the bath, the rapid movement and water slashes resembling the last frantic actions of the king of fishes as it tries to escape capture.

Hey will you hurry up in there I'm touching cloth, what are you doing landing a salmon.

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