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A large state largely populated by extremely conservative rednecks who have apparently put in an express lane when it comes to executing people (in the words of Ron White).
Remember, everything's bigger in Texas...except for the IQ!!
70👍 95👎
1. Place of extreme weather. If you don't like the weather in Texas, wait five minutes, it'll change!!
2. The Lonestar State.
3. The State that still believes that criminals should be punished.
4. The only state in the union that can fly its flag at the same height as the American Flag.
5. The only reason Texas doesn't fall into The Gulf of Mexico... is because Oklahoma sucks!!
6. The best damn state in the country! That's all you need to know. Texas is better than your state.
7. TEXAS - THE HOME OF Dr. Pepper, Bluebell Icecream, NASA Space Center, Audie Murphy the most decorated Soldier of WWII, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Eva Longoria, The Wataburger, and Southern Hospitality
8. Yeah so "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!!!!"
"Everything's BIGGER in TEXAS!!"
41👍 52👎
Fattest state in the fattest nation of the world.
Texas is the fattest state in the fattest nation of the world.
68👍 92👎
A freaky ass state in the USA consisiting of corrupt "sherriffs" (weird versions of cops), who go around beating people up and pulling out a gun whenever they feel like it. Make sure you don't jay walk in Texas or you may get the left side of your head blown off. Speaking of guns..everyone owns a gun in Texas.
SherriffTex1:"howdy!why i feel rather inclined to shoot that damn naggit trouble makers eyes out of his sockets!"
SherriffTex2:"well he's asking for it...who does he think he is to be walking across that road when the little man is flashing red? Why paint my tooth white and call it brushed!!! "
108👍 159👎
The biggest eyesore of the US. Just because of the fact it is the largest state in the continental US, Texans believe they are better than other Americans, somehow. Most(not all) of them have at some point worked on a farm, gotten drunk and gone hunting, dragged a black person behind their truck, and skipped work to watch a football game on TV.
The saying goes "Texas could live without the US, but the US couldn't live without Texas."
Well in reality, its more like "Texas could live without the US, but the US wouldn't care anyways."
guy1: dont mess with texas, we're bad ass.
guy2: didn't some guy burn an american flag on the steps of the capital once?
guy1: well...yes, but thats his freedom of speech.
guy2: so I couldnt, per say, go to the capital of Idaho and burn a flag?
guy1: fuck you, texas has a bigger penis than your state. now I have to go kill a black guy.
72👍 102👎
1.The only place on Earth to have caught mass penis envy on such a large scale, as exemplefied by the pathetic interjection "everything is bigger in texas!" and their large, terrorism supporting trucks.
2.Texans are the only people on Earth that feel the need to announce to every new acquaintance "I BE FROM TEXAS." They say this with a level of pride, but in actuality it brings scorn and disdainful laughter from those who reside in civilized society.
3.Texas gave America George W. Bush... enough said?
4.Texas fought to keep the institution of slavery intact during the Civil War.
5.Indeed, the only worthwhile contributions from Texas are sizzurp and ZZ Top. And although the above consists mostly of sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, Texas is a shitty state.
1. "Everythang be bigger here in Texas exceptin' for my penis."
2. "Yee-haw! I is from Texas!
3. "Ok all except the most redneck of Texans is ashamed of Bush.."
4. "Slavery weren't no bad!"
5. "ZZ Top doesn't makes up for it, you slack jawed yokels"
63👍 88👎
A state in the WESTERN states, I dont know where all this deep south shit comes from. Look, the only reason Texas joined the confederacy is because most of the states population was based in east texas (which thinks it is the south) in fact Sam Houston never warned against joining the confedracy. I am disgusted that even my fellow Texan would call himself a ignorant southern when he/she hails from the old west. The southern stereotype is mainly because we have shitty politics, and we have a large amount of the horrid " southern babtists" that migrated from the south, who really arnt the christians the claim to be. For those of you not from this state you have probably bought in to the southern myth so let me give you the strait up facts of why we must join the western US.
most of our state is desert
we do not hail to the southeast rather we are a self dependent western nation at heart
most of the state is hispanic much like NewMex and Arizona
most texans would rather refer to themselves "cowboys" than "rebels"
I used to think texas was the south until I went to west Texas and all I saw was occotillo, roadrunners, oil drigs, cowboys
THe old west is alive and well in Texas
69👍 98👎