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one who sits in pies (often on video or crying) for the gratification of others or his- or herself
"What, you two guys are cops? Hoboken squat cobbler. Full-moon moon pie. Boston cream splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the ass-man. Dutch apple ass."-Jimmy McGill on Better Call Saul
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Common sexual practise in the Glasgow area whereby two males (one or both of which may or may not be dead to begin with) have their mouths defecated in by a third before being strung up by the feet and decapitated. The third male then has sex with both severed heads while lying beneath the blood showers of the first two bodies.
Alan: Fancy a bum?
Christopher: No, sorry, I'm exhausted after I participated in a Glasgow Cobbler this morning.
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The act of someone in costume sitting on a pie and wiggling around. It is a sexual fetish and may involve crying.
Taken from Season 2 / Episode 2 of Better Call Saul
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: snorts You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
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A phrase used to substitute phrase "sucking dick, or dick". In which a member of a conversation does not hear you insert the phrase "suck dick" or "dick" into a sentence.
The origin...
Asian kid 1:"OMG have you tried strawberry rhubarb pie it's so good!"
White boy 1: "Have you tried sucking dick? I heard it makes you stfu."
Innocent bystander:"I'm sorry sir, I am flustered. Do you know when you thought you heard something but, know it's not right? I thought i heard a you say "suck dick" but, I know you said "Peach cobbler".
Asian kid and White boy:...:? (lol)
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A sexual act in which a woman with a yeast infection performs oral sex on a man who has just had unprotected vaginal intercourse with her.
Dude, I had tuna noodle cobbler last night.
Yeah, I can see it all over your face.
Per Better Call Saul 2.2, it's when a fully dressed man sits in pie and squirms around. If he produces tears, it's a special crybaby squat. It's art, and there is a costume involved.
He needs some alone time to get busy with his Hoboken squat cobbler movies .
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A sexual fetish whereby one sits naked in a pie and wiggles around. Crying is optional. Aka: Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man
Danny spent half an hour at the bakery deliberating between blueberry and cherry for his Hoboken Squat Cobbler, but what difference could it make since his ass has no taste buds?
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