close your eyes and open your mouth

A fun game boys play with drunk girls.

Maria said, "Every time I get drunk and a boy says close your eyes and open your mouth, I get a big fat cock in the mouth!"

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Honest baby, I won't come in your mouth

The number one lie that every guy has said.

Of course I respect you and will love you in the morning. So come on, honest baby, I won't come in your mouth.

to wash your mouth with soap and lemon juice

to do anything and everything humanely possible to make someone you care about stop swearing.

(N.B: when i was in elementary school this is the type of punishment our teachers threatened us with if we didn't stop swearing)

mother : Daniel, I will soon resort to having to wash your mouth with soap and lemon juice; you have a vocabulary problem

son : why should I stop swearing? Make me.

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Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash

"Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash," is something TV Dr. Phil McGraw's father said to him as a boy when he would voice wild plans or notions. It means that talk is cheap relative to performance, or that promising something and delivering on it are two different things. A phrase similar in meaning is "Money talks, bullshit walks."

.

"I'm going to get a job selling fuzzy dice door-to-door. I'll be rich!"

"Boy, your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash."

.

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Is your asshole jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth?

An epic burn. Practice so it will roll right off the tongue and and use when people are drinking so that there will be maximum nasal spewage for effect.

loser: blah blah blah...

cool person: Is your asshole jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth?

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SHUT YOUR DUKEY MOUTH

the ultimate comeback,never has a response

"your mother'
"SHUT YOUR DUKEY MOUTH"
"......''

shut your goat mouth

Shut up but with more force.

The alternative is shut your trout mouth

-Annoying person is talking

You say:
"You shut your GOAT mouth" OR
"You shut your TROUT mouth"

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