douche turtle

1. A rare breed of turtle that breeds in Australia, Canada, and Iran.

2. A stupid fangirl

3. A song by " My Trans Alaskan Railroad of Siberian Tragedies in modern cities across the globe" Full song title : Make Love to Me Hard and Fast (Douche Turtle)

Johnny, go feed your douche turtle!

God slut, stop being such a douche turtle

I totally rocked out to douche turtle all night.

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hairy turtle

A term for a person's pubic hair or bush that has a bald spot.

Referring the the 'turtle' part of this nick name, a hairy turtle is more common in males than females(seeing as how women tend to shave their pubic region more often than men).

It seems that most men pride themselves on the cleanliness of their hairy turtle, rather than remove it.

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turtle tracks

To make turtle tracks = to leave.

I'm bored... let's make turtle tracks.

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Turtle Waxing

Turtle Waxing is when a male gets close to ejaculating during sexual activities, lays his partner flat on a surface (bed,table,couch....) so that the partner is facing upwards towards him while he hovers over the partner and ejaculates onto the partner's stomach which he then rubs the fluid around on the chest area giving the partner's chest a glossy turtle wax look to it.

Man 1: Dude, guess what I did to my girlfirend last night.

Man 2: What did u do to her?

Man 1: I was Turtle Waxing her all night long!

Man 2: I wish my girlfriend would let me do that.

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Jersey Turtle

A Jersey Turtle is an annoying and vaguely Soprano-esqe pest that crawls out of the armpit of the United States, New Jersey, and infests 'quaint' and 'resort' towns throughout the state of Vermont. As soon as the snow hits they come up from hibernation to 'hit the slopes, dude!' The most common location for a Jersey Turtle to be spotted is along USRT.4 heading from New York state into Rutland, VT.

Most Jersey Turtles are large oversized SUVs including (but not limited to): Suburbans, Hummers, Tahoes, Lexus', and rarely a Land Rover. Expect to see various items of ski/snowboard gear to be strewn across the road as well... this is the telltale sign that a Jersey Turtle has been in the area.

"Oh crap, is that a car in the median?"
"Nah, it's just a Jersey Turtle."
"Ah, ok... they should learn to drive"
"Sure, but then what would they replace the drives licenses with in the vending machines?"
"Good point."

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Snapping Turtle

Someone who takes a long time to snap back

Jake: Damn Jacob play that music!
Jacob: hold on! I'm snapping!
Jake: wow, your such a snapping turtle!

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Turtle beach

A sexual position in where you strap each of your testicles to the participants respective ears and rapidly thrust your girth into their throat while screaming "Aww, Fuck yeah cunt!".

"My dad gave me a turtle beach for Christmas last year".

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