Random
Source Code
Random
when you start wanking and shout to your mother to come to your room , and see if you can finish before she opens your bedroom door.
I'm so embarrassed, yesterday I failed at a danger wank.
A danger rank is were you start Wanking/Masturbating/Pulling The Ham/ Beating Your Meat/ Tickling The Pickle/ Kissing The Pork etc. You call your mother or father into the room and try to finish before they enter. Victors of this challenge will be praised and have the right to boast about it, if they do not become the leader of the group then get new friends. Of course there will be contesters, there always is. Time yourself next time.
Jim: How come your the leader of the group?
Bob: I performed a danger wank and succeeded!
Jim: Holy shit! All praise lord Bob
When you haven't fapped for more than a week and finally nut shouting: 'allahu akbar' as you cum
I haven't fapped for 2 weeks and just had a terrorism wank, yeah my jizz can take down buildings
The act of sneaking into your neighbours house, connecting to and watching some porn on their own wifi until you ejaculate on a random thing in their home e.g. bed, sink, kettle etc. and go home like nothing happened.
This can also be done in schools, shops or other public venues.
Keith - “I left our neighbour Eugene a little present inside the dishwasher!”
Fredrick - “Dude that’s nuts”
Keith - “I know but not the kinda of nuts your thinking of, I pulled a wank bandit on him”
Fredrick - ...
Keith - “I also brutally slaughtered his wife and children”
Fredrick - “Nice”
When you wanna climax but you don't have time to do the whole 45 minute shit. Feels fucking amazing, not recommended for the asthmatic community, and usually leaves you with a blister.
Pornhub: Ah neigh whinnymwinny, tu whit to woo, oink~twas brillig, coo coo, get on the washing machine, awhahahhahhhahhahhhhhh
Me: Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squirt heavy breathing.
That was a good little micro wank
The heightened sense of hearing a young man develops when he masturbate in a house with other people. Despite masturbating he intensely listens for anybody approaching his location so he has ample time to hide his penis, clean up his immediate environment, and maybe hide any pornography he might be using.
Aw man, since moving back home I had to sharpen up my wank ear.
My wife doesn't knock when I shower, better use my wank ear when I rub one out.
Red patches that appear on ones chest after a vigorous wank. Occurs to excessive wankers.
Jack: “Lads, I was beating my meat last night, looked down, should’ve seen THE STATE of my wank rash!”
Ben: “I get that all the time, I love tugging myself!”