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A sexual act where an attractive middle aged man who often enjoys cycling steals the dog bed and television from his son’s house and uses it to lure the dog back to his local gym. He then proceeds to dress up in tight pink Lycra and perform a handstand by the exercise bikes with butter rubbed along his huge dick so that the dog sucks him off while watching other hot men cycling on his stolen TV. This is usually accompanied by extremely loud screams from the man to attract as much attention to himself as possible as well as gleeful noises from the sucking dog when it’s fur is splattered with tasty white cum.
“What’s that screaming? Is there a dog in here?”
“Don’t worry, it’s just someone doing a Dirty Jacob’s Dad in the corner.”
He just is.
So, you think you like Jacob, name every cute quality of his-
1. Kind
2. Just all around cute
3. Very epic gamer
4. Always willing to help
5. Young wise man
6. Has good music taste
7. Has some sick hobbies
8. Open-minded
9. Just adorable :3
10. Humerous
11. Trys to make others happy even when he's not at his best
12. Extremely trust worthy
13. Honest
14. He cares :P
15. Loyal
16. Relaxing to talk to
17. Can make others happy by being happy himself
18. Has a cute voice -w-
19. Easy to talk to
20. Can be shy but once you get to know him, hes very open
21. Trustworthy
22. Mature (most the time lmao)
23. Will always find a way to make you feel better when you're sad
24. He puts his friends in front of himself
25. Unauthorized therapist lol
26. Logical
27. Trys his best at everything
28. Wants to help (almost) everyone
29. Will always check up on you
30. Every message he sends is cuter than the last
31. Sticks up for what he believes in
32. Helpful
33. Active and fit
34. Not afraid to speak his mind
35. Doesn't care what others think about him
36. He always sends cute msgs
37. He always sends cute pictures
38. Protective
39. Extremely nice
40. Fun to vibe with
41. Has big brain
42. Really chill
43. Will always put a smile on your face
44. Charming
45. Would stay up all night just to say good morning to you
46. Jacob is biggest qt
I would write more but I've reached the word limit of 1500
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Men are always right, Women are always wrong.
Exeption: When (most) men agree with the woman, in which case the woman is right.
Otherwise a paradox would be created in which neither man or woman are right.
Felice says Thomas is yellow, Thomas says he's not. Male friends agree with Felice
According to Jacob's Third Law Felice and her male friends are right. Thomas is yellow.
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a lil kid that cant grow up , has a lil dick , and cant get bitches
yea the guy at the bar was such a jacob head ass
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Is a dad of a 4 year old kid named Jacob. Jacobs dad is suspicious and nerdy. Is a drug dealer. Forcing kids to hug his son.
Jacob’s dad is a drug dealer!
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Fillled to the brim with pedophilia and sodomy; a favorite hangout for all of South Texan child molesters.
Stay the fuck away from Jacob's road:lest ye be sodomized.
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