Velvet Lesbian

An emotionally pretentious person.
Someone who holds themselves to a standard that can be easily usurped.
Is deeply offended by any type of criticism.

John is such a velvet lesbian. I have to pretend that I like all of his music because he gets emotional when people don't share his musical opinion.
"You just don't understand me, and you never will." -John

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Lesbian Crack

when a group of 400 seahorses witness two lesbians climb a rope after taking laxatives and shit down the rope then the rope is cut up so the seahorse may proceed to have a hardened piece of shit covered rope or otherwise known as a poor mans dildo

have you ever done lesbian crack? dad I told you I'm straight!

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Visual Lesbian

a heterosexually-identfied woman who enjoys the pleasures of the female form but only visually, ie in sight, not touch or taste.

US Weekly provide to perfect outlet for annoretic and visual lesbian porn.

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Secret Lesbians

Those two girls that do everything with each other, everyone knows they're gonna get married

i.e Sarah and Laken

I swear they're secret lesbians

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Lesbian regret

When one lesbian has feelings for another woman but then panics when they realise it is someone they have seen in public before and out of fear they sever all communication to avoid awkward encounters in the future

Person 1: I was talking to this girl on tinder but she suddenly disappeared mid-conversation...
Person 2: Damn girl that's tough, she must have got lesbian regret.

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lesbian luggage

After lesbians inevitably move in together after just starting to date and immediately break up, the new-ex's belongings are swiftly put into garbage bags and put out on the front porch for them to collect without having to have yet another fight.

"Why's that garbage bag on the front porch?" "Oh, that's Carole's lesbian luggage. We broke up yesterday."

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Fidget lesbian

Being dumb in a way that's very lesbian.

You're so fidget lesbian.

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