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Shit News

News that isn't fake, just shit.

It often tries to portray certain individuals in a very biased light without the use of candid and upright journalism.

Shit News has been in use since at least the 5th Centrury BC, probably caused the French Revolution, but has been in use exponentially since the US elections in which Donald Trump was elected, and Britain voted to leave the EU (both through normal democratic process).

Some of the worst protaganists being Fox News, CNBC, Sky News, The Guardian, ABC (Australia), and News.com.au. The list is far greater than these, and comes from all sides of the political debate. Each side is unwittingly pointing fingers whilst 3 are pointing back at them.

ABC News (Australia): Trump says he invented the word "fake".
My response on reading the quotation in their article: He didn't explicitly say that though did he? Granted he's a bit of a pillock, but seriously - get your shit together and report properly if you want to have any credibility! FFS. This is just Shit News!

by FoulBard October 9, 2017


shit tease

When you have the urge to take a shit and when you sit down on the toilet seat expecting a massive deposit you execute nothing but gas.

steve - i need to take a dump, this car ride is going to take 2 hours.
(runs to the public bathroom comes out after 2 minutes)
chris - that was quick
steve - yeh it was only a shit tease (very disappointed)

by thecatan March 22, 2012


Shit-tastic

An adjective that describes a situation that is fantastically shitty. It is the shitty version of a fantastic situation.

your bro- "Dude i just saw your girlfriend blowing your boss."

you- "Well isnt that Shit-tastic!

by Thenikowith1k March 13, 2011


halloween shit

A deuce in whereby the process of wiping takes longer than the deuce itself. Typically characterized by a soft and/or mushy texture that takes 15 wipes or more. Usually have to wipe until pure exhaustion/frustration kicks in, or until there is no more toilet paper left.

The opposite of a Christmas Shit, whereby it's only necessary to wipe once or perhaps twice, absolute max, until you're clean as a whistle.

Mike: Bro, what the hell took you so long in there, we just missed our flight!
George: Sorry, my guy. It was a Halloween shit.

Mike: Damn, that's wild, G. Hope you're feeling better at least. Sucks we can't go to Mexico anymore, though.
George: Don't stress, Holmes. There's always next year.
Mike: Major facts!

by JoeMama1247 March 15, 2022


revenge-shit

When you take a huge dump and just leave it there just to spite somebody.

Allan: "I just took a major revenge-shit bro. She's cleaning it right now!" *brofist
Sten: "Nice one!" *brofist

by Sandy_Vag October 2, 2014


Shit Rolled

When what you think is a link to something you want to see actually directs you to a video of Rebecca Black singing "Friday."

Clu: You gotta check out this new band, it's awesome! Look, here's the video.

Rebecca Black: It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday...

Eric: Arrrgh man, you just Shit Rolled me again!

by The Riqo March 21, 2011


Shit paralysis

The inability to move from having to shit extremely bad.

Having to poop so bad if you move you're going to poop your pant.

I was stuck at the bottom of the stairs, suffer from shit paralysis.

I was stuck at the bathroom door with shit paralysis for like 5 minutes.

by Pulpi1 June 1, 2014