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Cracking one out in a high risk situation in a predetermined amount of time.
He said yes to a cuppa then when he'd finished his danger wank there was a brew next to him.
masturbation session that goes on for so long that all enjoyment and horniness is eventually lost
Yeah I got home after ten JD and coke and had me a gramp wank
Exactly what it says on the tin. To masturbate whilst in prison.
Most criminals enjoy a good prison wank.
The act of sneaking into your neighbours house, connecting to and watching some porn on their own wifi until you ejaculate on a random thing in their home e.g. bed, sink, kettle etc. and go home like nothing happened.
This can also be done in schools, shops or other public venues.
Keith - “I left our neighbour Eugene a little present inside the dishwasher!”
Fredrick - “Dude that’s nuts”
Keith - “I know but not the kinda of nuts your thinking of, I pulled a wank bandit on him”
Fredrick - ...
Keith - “I also brutally slaughtered his wife and children”
Fredrick - “Nice”
When you wanna climax but you don't have time to do the whole 45 minute shit. Feels fucking amazing, not recommended for the asthmatic community, and usually leaves you with a blister.
Pornhub: Ah neigh whinnymwinny, tu whit to woo, oink~twas brillig, coo coo, get on the washing machine, awhahahhahhhahhahhhhhh
Me: Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squirt heavy breathing.
That was a good little micro wank
The heightened sense of hearing a young man develops when he masturbate in a house with other people. Despite masturbating he intensely listens for anybody approaching his location so he has ample time to hide his penis, clean up his immediate environment, and maybe hide any pornography he might be using.
Aw man, since moving back home I had to sharpen up my wank ear.
My wife doesn't knock when I shower, better use my wank ear when I rub one out.
Red patches that appear on ones chest after a vigorous wank. Occurs to excessive wankers.
Jack: “Lads, I was beating my meat last night, looked down, should’ve seen THE STATE of my wank rash!”
Ben: “I get that all the time, I love tugging myself!”