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I was a freshman and she was a senior and I had the hugest crush on her, her name was Stella, she had the nicest tits and beautiful fat ass and her face was like an angel, there was a party the following weekend and I heard she just broke up with her boyfriend and she was gonna be there! So I decided I was gonna sneak in and find her, I go there about an hour later she was drunk as fuck, and I thought this is my chance, so after a few minutes I convinced the drunk girl to go upstairs and she said what are we gonna do and I said “I’m gonna fuck you so hard” she said while she was drunk not able to control her actions “fuck my tight little pussy” and I grabbed her tits and I was so hard and she started kissing me, I lowered my hands and started squeezing her ass and she said I want your cum in my mouth and she started sucking, fast then slow, fast then slow, then she deepthroated the whole thing and I felt it and I said “oh fuck yesss” and I cummed in her mouth and she swallowed. Then she said ok we’re done here and I thought wait she’s drunk she won’t remember what happens so I get infront of her and push her back on the bed rip her shirt off and before she could do anything to stop her I was balls deep inside her pussy and I was grabbing her tits I made her my bitch that night! Then I felt it again, I was gonna cum for a second time, and I did and it occurred to me that I wasn’t wearing a condom, and that’s how I got an 18 year old pregnant when I was 14
The story of how I lost my V-card was the best moment of my life
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when the screen saver cant run because it requires functionality that is not available on your graphics/video card.
this is usually because your graphics/video card is fucking terrible
Windows: This screen saver can't run because it requires functionality that is not available on your hardware-accelerated video card.
Jimothy: oh no i cant run this screen saver when im away because my video card is from a SNES
Revoking your manhood card is a phrase. For example, if your friend says that he is revoking your manhood card, it probably means you did something very feminine or unmanly, so he is taking away your manhood status. Thus revoking your manhood card, banishing you from manhood.
He said he would be revoking your manhood card, Jim. I'm sorry, I tried to make him reconsider. He's too angry, he's going to take it away.
The holiday card someone sent you only after they received your holiday card
We sent our Christmas cards out last week. I wonder how many rebound cards we'll get before the 25th?
when u lose a debit card at a restaurant and start crying so u get free food
my friend rhys is a debit card crybaby. he got free food at state 48
6 feet of garden hose (to siphon gas from someone else's vehicle)
We're almost out of gas and I'm broke!
No prob, got my Alabama credit card.
When one becomes enraged when credit is declined upon purchase due to lack of funds or when their card is faulty and unreadable.
The ambulance was called because Johnny had card rage at the mall and smashed his face into the EFTPOS machine and died.