Random
Source Code
Random
When a man spanks himself as he masturbates
Did you hear about jim trying the spanky wank? He said he couldn't sit for a week.
When masturbating and as you are about to finish, you put two hands on and shake like champagne.
Friend: Congrats on your award man
Me: Thanks, I’m going to go celebrate with a champagne wank.
Friend: *laughing* well that’s one way to celebrate.
A woman whose husband no longer finds her sexually attractive, no longer desires to sleep with her and instead spends his free time whacking off to porn.
Jill: Kelly always seems so unhappy anymore. What's going on with her?
Jane: That poor girl's a wank widow. Bob never gives her any attention anymore. Spends all his time on the computer.
n: the act of masturbating with a level of enthusiasm and vigour that one can only achieve with the knowledge of the impending end of the world.
Craig sat quietly in the room while his undead friends and family members scratches at the door and the last of the battery power drained from the torch. "Fuck it!" Said Craig, "I'm busting out an Armageddon Wank before they break in."
Exactly what it says on the tin. To masturbate whilst in prison.
Most criminals enjoy a good prison wank.
A masturbation session done when thinking about or looking at pictures of someone from your past. Could be an ex-girlfriend from a few years back, your high school geography teacher, or anyone you no longer interact with.
With no clubs open and no chances to meet new people, all James could do was knock out a few throwback wanks every night.