Shredding Paper

The residual effects of a loose bowel movement after the initial flush of the toilet bowl.

Damn Brian the bowl looks like you shredding paper out cho asshole. Give a brother a courtesy flush next time!

scooby paper

Cloth used to clean up after intercourse.

Example: thanks for the lay Marty, can you please pass me the scooby paper?

Brown toilet paper

You bought this off of some hobo outside of walmart thinking it was a rare strain of toilet paper but you were sorely mistaken. If you possess this, discard of it immediately.

Shit man I think I just got some brown toilet paper instead of legit toilet paper. I was just trying to save money.

Funny paper

Slang for LSD

I was off like 3 tabs off the funny paper later night

Seasoned Toilet Paper

Toilet paper which is used.

Hey Fido! Get away from that trash can! NO! Bad dog! Don’t eat the Seasoned Toilet Paper!

Paper-Thin Disguises

A horrible disguise. This disguise so, so fucking bad that it could make the entire audience facepalm or tell the villain/henchmen that the hero(es) is/are disguised.

Jeff:Hey look, the heroes are walking in with paper-thin disguises!
Henchman 1:Wait, what disguise? These must be the new guards.
Jeff:No they aren't!
Henchman 2:Look. That's the appearance of a new guard. You must be high again, Jeff.
Jeff:TOM I HAVE NOT TAKEN ANY DRUGS, ALCOHOL, OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT MAY DISTORT MY INTELLECTUAL COMPETENCE FOR 327 DAYS!

Paper pirate

A less offensive way of saying white people, reserved for social media to not get banned.

"Ranch flavored ice cream? Sounds like paper pirate nonsense to me."