Random
Source Code
Random
To get out of everything when you are a foreigner
Police: "sir, you were going 100 mph in a 20 mph zone. I need you to take you to custody"
Me: " you know english is my second language, right?"
Police: "oh you are fine then. Have a good day!"
Person 1: "Dude! Why didnt you invite me to the party you threw? I thought I was one of your closer friends!!"
Person 2: "Dude! you know english is my second language, right?"
Person 1: "Oh nevermind then! we are cool!"
1👍 3👎
Announcer: "A NUKE LAUNCH AT YOUR FUCKING COUNTRY IN 10 SECONDS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
Family: *confused screaming*
2👍 2👎
'Nuff said.
Pretty much the same as your face or your mom. Can be used for any type of situational comeback that you can possibly think of with a touch of...elongated flair.
Person 1: You don't look so good.
Person 2: YOUR FACE'S SECOND MOTHER'S DAUGHTER'S GREAT AUNT'S COUSIN'S DIVORCED WIFE'S BAKA USAGI OF A ROOMMATE DOESN'T LOOK SO GOOD!!!
Person 1: . . . *walks away*
20👍 4👎
What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Frames Per Second (FPS)
What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Frames Per Second (FPS)
An unofficial rule in restaurants that dictates that you have at least 30 seconds to pick up a dropped steak, or lobster etc. from the floor before it's considered contaminated.
Owner:"Hey where are you going with that steak?"
Employee: "It fell on
the floor so, I'm throwing it in the trash?"
Owner: "30 seconds rule, wash it off and put it back on the grill."
Your best friend dating your ex before a week is up
Man Elijah is getting second spit from amber