Canadian bus ride

The only thing more epic than a Polish bike ride. Results in serious pwnage.

Crispin was being a gash last week so I gave him the old Canadian bus ride. That took the smile off his face.

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Great Canadian Promise

A broken promise
A promise that is full of shit
Instead of basic words of fond farewell, Canadians will promise something that is unlikely to happen as they don't know how to simply say goodbye.
"Great" is added to sound great just like the Great Canadian Bagel, great Canadian Super Store and all the other great Canadian stuff that isn't so fucking great after all!

I'll give you a call; we'll go for beers.
Let's do lunch.
We should get together sometime.
I'll talk to my buddy, he'll sort you out.
Yeah, I can fix your car; I'll come over on the weekend
They'll be here in a week to do the work.

All great examples of a Great Canadian Promise

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french canadian whore

a closet lesbian who hooks for peanut butter. french canadian by birth and jewish by nature. claims to be a ninja but ass rapes retarded horses. we all know that retarded horse raping is not ninjaesque.

also known as sara the french canadian whore

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Canadian New Year

canadian new year is celebrated on March first instead of January first like everyone else in the world. It is celebrated by excessive use of the word "eh" and by drinking rye whiskey until "eh" seems like an actual word to a non-Canadian

Randy - "why is paul so drunk?"

Timmy - "its canadian new year dude"

Randy - "oh! lets get rye-tarded then!"

Paul - "EH!"

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Canadian Armed Forces

What, Canada actually has armed forces now?

Now that I never knew...

What do they use them for, like keeping maple leafs safe or something?

And by the way- Canada NEVER invaded America and burnt the White House. That was the British forces advancing through their territory of Canada, you fuckup. So don't go thinking you've got one up on anyone because really, both America and Canada were Brittannia's bitches at one point. Canada still is, however. You're not out of the Commonwealth yet. That goes for you too, Australia. And you India. And New Zealand. And.......... etc

Hey, did you know that all milk cartons in Canada have the word "HOMO" up the side of them? No, really.

I never knew the Canadian Armed Forces even existed. I thought they had a mountain rangers goof troop, or something like that.

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canadian cow tipping

to club baby seals on the snow with a group of friends after drinking a few beers/screech.

later me an the boys are headin out for some canadian cow tipping

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canadian maple bath

When you or your partner does not drink water for a long time period then showering you in pee as brown as maple syrup during. Noun

Dude, I gave my girlfriend a Canadian Maple Bath

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