Random
Source Code
Random
Marci Day is a special celebration that by coincidence coincides with a particular phase of the moon. Ancient tradition places Marci Day whenever the moon is neither full nor new but somewhere in between. The history of Marci day is dubious yet noble. It inspires people of all creeds, species, and food preference to dine out, stay in, and just give in to all sorts of pleasures. The giving of small gifts of appreciation is not discouraged on Marci Day nor is the ignition of displays of pyrotechnics.
Joe: "What are you doing for Marci Day?"
Moe: "I'm going out and getting hammered and exposing myself in public, what about you?"
Joe: "I'm going celebrate with dancing around an aluminum pole, an airing of greivances, and feats of strength!"
18👍 5👎
See you later, see you tomorrow, see you soon, see you never, see you in a bit.
Used to indicate that you will see the person later.
From "The Weekenders," a cartoon show where the main character would say it at the end of every show.
Dude A - "Ok bro I'll see you when you get back."
Dude B - "Gotcha man, later days."
188👍 89👎
Banksgiving Day: Banks giving, That would be definitely something to be thankful for.
Probably in Neverland they've got Banksgiving day too.
34👍 12👎
A guy was watching over his kid for nightly prayers.
The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird. That night, the kid says "Goodnight mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
The father is like this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodngiht mommy, and goodbye daddy."
The father freaks. He's all like I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work. at the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day. She says YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!
person1: hey u heard bout dis guy who had a really bad day, people started dropping dead infront of him.
person2: who died
person1: first the grandma died then the grandad died, then th following morning the postman was dead on the doorstep
person2: lol fail
34👍 12👎
February 15, the day you learn almost everybody else but you got laid the day before. The day after Valentine's Day, that day you worked till 11 pm then got back home to get drunk because you didn't have a date.
February 15 is the day of misanthropy, "Hate Day", when it is mandatory to give away hatred to all of your friends, especially those who got laid the day before.
On that day, you drunk dial your ex, you troll on message boards, you post hate on Twitter, you randomly flip the bird at strangers and take 2 aspirins every 4 hours to relieve your headache.
You: So, how was your Valentine's day. Mine was horrible.
Friend: Well I wished I had been with someone else, but anyway we partied heavily.
You: What did you do?
Friend: I dropped more pills in one night than in 2 years before. Also, two pipes.
You: By "pipe", I assume you mean the object, like a bong?
Friend: No, I mean "blowjob", the act of having a girl putting her mouth around my penis.
You: FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
You: I HATE YOU !
Friend: Why?
You: It's February 15, Hate Day.
49👍 19👎
A holiday for people with crackwhores for mothers or other close relatives. Crack becomes the religion of the mother, and thus they don't have any holiday traditions, such as Christmas or Hanukkah.
Celebrated on December 3rd, Crackwhore day is traditionally celebrated with the giving and receiving of various jigsaw puzzles.
Though it began as a celebration for relatives of crackwhores, any are welcome to celebrate this versatile holiday.
Hooray! I was given a Willy Wonka puzzle for Crackwhore Day! Thanks, buddy!
51👍 20👎
A "relationship" lasting only 3 fucking days
Day 1 = Will u go out with me?...SURE!
Day 2 = i love u i will nvr leave u
Day 3 = lets just be friends ok? its not working out
thats an example of "a 3 day"
440👍 224👎